#and of course there's also something to be said for the difference classical training in Britain makes vs acting in America
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tsxkkis ¡ 4 months ago
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# tsukishima kei ‐ better for you
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a/n: a request for anon that definitely took me too long to write T-T i'm terribly sorry for the delay .... also this strangely reminds me of my first ever fic on this account (which was also abt tsukki) so it's kinda silly :33
summary: tsukishima is jealous and not exactly good at hiding it.
warnings: none, pure fluff
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tsukishima has been awfully quiet since you arrived at the training camp.
it's not like that was an unusual behavior from him - he was naturally a quiet, introverted person, so anyone with a basic knowledge about his personality would assume it's perfectly normal. but you knew better.
he was your boyfriend, after all. even if quiet and rather reserved, he would continuously taunt you with his snarky comments and witty remarks, almost twice as much as he would his teammates. but for the last two days or so, his demeanor changed; there was something that ticked him off, and, contrary to his beliefs, he was not good at hiding his jealousy.
figuring out the reason behind it was a no-brainer.
tsukishima adjusted his glasses as he observed yet another guy walking up to you, and he could already recite the way this conversation was about to go from memory. he stood next to yamaguchi, back resting on the outer wall of the gym, eyes staring daggers into the fukurodani jersey of the boy trying to hit on you. but of course, he didn't do a thing about it, instead opting for a low, annoyed huff.
you could see him from where you stood, and a sigh left your lips as you saw his eyes dart away from yours the moment they met, the blonde boy wasting no time in walking away to a spot where he wouldn't have to see the situation in front of him.
the boy in front of you, whose name you've found out to be komi, fukurodani's libero, kept on babbling about something, but you've stopped listening a while ago, quickly excusing yourself to follow after your boyfriend.
'wait.' you said, voice just loud enough for tsukishima to stop in his tracks, head turning around to face you, waiting for you to continue what you wanted to say. you caught up with him, eyes squinting a little as you looked up because of the sun positioned right behind his head. 'are you really jealous of all these guys?'
'no.' he rolled his eyes, a classic sign of frustration from him, almost as if he intentionally tried to show you that despite his words, he is indeed annoyed with them.
'i can clearly see that you are.' he didn't answer you this time, silence taking over as he avoided eye contact with you, acting more childish than ever. you couldn't help but smile, hand reaching out for his with a gentle squeeze. 'you know that they could never steal me from you, right?'
silence.
'oh, come on, you're sulking like a five year old baby right now.'
'says the one who acts like a baby all the goddamn time.' his remark made you crack a smile, happy that you got him to talk. 'it's annoying. and it's not like i don't trust you either. it's something different.'
'hm?'
he let go of your hand, taking a few steps forward, the setting sun hitting his face as he stared into the magine in front of him; the hill he had to run up and down at least five times that day, barely noticeable roofs of homes situated not far away.
'don't you think that at least one of them could be, you know.' you already knew what point he was trying to make, and yet hearing it from him made your heart break a little. 'better for you?'
a moment of silence passed, the chirping birds being heard from away.
'no.'
he could hear the sound of your shoes hitting the ground with each step you took towards him, your arms gently wrapping around his torso from behind, face nuzzling into his back.
'look at me, tsukki.' hearing your words, he slowly turned his head around, only to be met with your lips already on his in a sweet, short kiss. 'listen carefully, alright?'
'i'm.' kiss. 'not.' kiss. 'going.' kiss. 'anywhere.'
he couldn't help but smile at your actions, breaking out of his aloof persona for a split second, hand searching for yours to hold it tenderly.
'besides,' you added, lips curving up into a sly smile. 'none of them could give me the same level of sarcasm that i love so much.'
you continued smooching his lips, cheeks, forehead, nose, trying to cover his entire face with kisses.
'alright, alright.' he mumbled quietly, pulling you away as he adjusted his hair. 'don't be so touchy here, though. not that i don't like it, it's just-'
'i knew it!' you recognized the voice behind you immediately, and tsukishima's shocked face only confirmed your suspicions.
'let's leave the lovebirds before kei kills us with his death stare, bokuto.' another familiar voice was heard, and as you turned around, you immediately noticed the spikey black hair and kuroo's tall frame.
as they ran away, shouting a familiar rhyme of 'y/n and tsukki sitting on a tree', you couldn't help but laugh, resting your head on your boyfriend's shoulder. he didn't look half as content as you, lips in a straight line as if he just got caught doing something so utterly embarrassing he would never recover from it.
'if they continue this, everyone will know.' he mumbled, back to his usual, annoyed tone.
'look at the positives, kei.' you nudged him on the shoulder, smiling up at him. 'at least now no one will flirt with me anymore. no more frustrations for you.'
and maybe you were right.
or maybe you weren't, as he found out later, when the information of your relationship got to the ears of his overly excited upperclassmen.
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taglist: @moonswolfie @wyrcan @kitsune-kita @haechansbbg @luvvrgirll @serotoninbarbz @sugaraddict301
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wandixx ¡ 9 months ago
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Ghost of fries and Hero of cookies
All work words count: 14 593
Words in this part: 2 224
Summary of whole work: Duke wasn't expecting to wake up from his quick rooftop nap to some meta kid with fries. He also wasn't expecting kid to stay Or Danny asked Dani to stay safe while she was in Gotham. Where would she be safer than under the wing of local hero? And he looked like he needed bad day combo anyway
This part summary: First meeting and training discussions Beta read by @audhumla-sailor though English is second language for both of us, so proceed with this in mind. I also know all of the charaters through fics alone, so probably ooc. Stay catious if it's something you don't like
Duke was running out of fumes to run on. Last few days would be exhausting if it was just vigilante or just civilian stuff but no, he had to have it both. Because of Arkham break out he had been called in three nights in a row, not for a whole patrol but he couldn't exactly sleep it of during the day like others did, especially not in a week when every teacher decided they need to have test or quiz or what not. Naps meant he wasn't as sleep deprived as he could be but he needed far more. But he couldn't because crime in Gotham never sleeps so he had normal patrol to finish and there were about two ours left.
Would something bad happen if he just stopped for a moment and laid on a roof? Ten up to fifteen minutes. It was a slow day too...
Yeah, no, he deserved a moment to rest and if something disastrous was to happen in the meantime he would shame other Bats for not giving him enough time to sleep.
It certainly said something that he found gravel covering this roof to be quite comfortable. He set a timer for ten minutes and let himself close his eyes.
When loud screech of timer jolted him awake, he was suddenly fully aware that he wasn't alone anymore. He sat up a little too quickly.
"Oh, you're awake," white haired girl around Damian's age chimed, sitting cross legged just few feets away from him. She wore something that could only be described as an unholy mix of lab safety hazmat and skintight workout jumpsuit, white and black. When had Gotham gotten a new vigilante? "Good, I just returned from snack hunt," she added, gesturing at a big textile bag lying next to her. Duke didn't have enough brainpower to do anything more than ask.
"What?"
Girl shrugged, take out from BatBurger in her hand.
"You look like you have a bad day if not few days, so I've got you my cousin's bad day combo or at least closest thing I could. BatBurger burger isn't as good as NastyBurger but you certainly have better fries," as she spoke, second take out bag, 1 quart bottle of energy drink, juice bottle of same size and pack of convenience store brownies joined greasy paper bag sealed with a sticker.
"Is your cousin a speedster?" Excuse Duke, it was a totally valid question, he saw with his bare eyes both Wally West and Bart Allen when they visited Manor. Noone else would be able to stomach the amount of food they inhaled during their stays.
"Nah, we're not that fast or that hungry. Though I think I may get closer to speed of sound," So, clearly a meta if white hair and weir aura that let his eyes rest weren't enough indication "My cousin when he has bad few days he often forgets to eat so this combo has to help with there too. But I'll steal your fries of course."
Duke was not going to look gift horse in teeth, so he grabbed one bag and tore it open. There was classic combo with bigger fries and NightWings inside.
"Thank you..." he trailed off, hoping that girl would take a clue and introduce herself but she didn't. She just drowned her fries in ketchup and started munching. She had her own juice.
"My cousin always said that each part of this combo has different purpose," she explained instead, slightly muffled because of fries in her mouth, "This" she gestured towards fast food meal "is to sooth your stomach. This "she tapped energy drink "is to sooth your brain and kick it back online. This "she raised bottle of juice, "is to sooth your taste buds because energy drinks are war crime against them and this "she nudged brownies "is to sooth your heart because Ancients damn it, this day is awful and you deserve it. At least that's what he told me when I had day bad enough to deserve that," she shrugged, licking ketchup of her finger. Suddenly she froze "You aren't allergic, are you?
"No, I'm not," he confessed bewildered.
"Good"
For a long moment they sat in silence, devouring food the little girl brought. Duke distantly wondered if this was how night shift spent their snack breaks. It felt nice.
He was finishing his part of brownies when girl spoke up again.
"Do you feel better now?"
"Yeah" he was a little surprised to realize that it was true. He'll have to note down what she put in this 'bad day combo'. "Thank you"
"Don't mention it," she shrugged with general gesture of dismissal, "You're one of my cousin's favorite heroes because you're vaguely his age and handle Gotham alone during the day and I quote, "she did honest to God air quotes at that" 'As only hero in Amity-' which is a lie by the way, Val is doing great and even if he suddenly got problem with how she feels about his alter ego, he still has Sam and Tuck even if they're usually more of moral support. And I helped when I visited, so no, he isn't only one. Anyway as he said 'As only hero in Amity, my heart goes out for anyone who deals with this type of bullshit so Dani if you absolutely have to prank heroes, leave them out of it, especially Signal, he can't be older than Jazz, he doesn't need any more mess to handle.' All aliens and lanterns are also off limits because he is a space nerd. But you aren't space related so I'm like 80% percent sure he has celebrity crush on you," she slurped more juice, unbothered.
Duke was thankful he wasn't swallowing anything because for sure she would choke. He took split second to consider addressing... this whole situation and choose not to. He was not ready to be anyone's celebrity crush.
"Your name is Danny?" he asked instead.
"Dani" she corrected" with an I"
"Ok. It's nice to meet you Dani-with-an-I," She giggled, nodding her head slightly.
"It's nice to meet you too Signal"
Duke stood up, stretching a little. Dani joined him after hastily putting all the trash in her bag. She was a little higher than expected.
"I have to get back to my patrol"
"Cool," she drifted back a bit, making him realize that she was floating a few inches above the ground. She fixed her bag on her arm.
"Hey, can I hang out a little bit more? My cousin will go green out of jealousy when I tell him," she added with a mischievous smirk but Duke could tell there was more to it. He took a moment to consider it, which apparently made girl nervous "I can be invisible the whole time, like before," she offered, disappearing in the meantime. He could still tell where she was, because of her heat signature and other waves she excluded but for regular people she would be no different than surrounding air.
"Yeah, you can hang around and you don't have to be invisible. Just don't get in my way when I have to actually do some fighting."
She popped back to visible spectrum and pouted like Damian whenever he got benched.
"I can fight, y'know? I stopped mugging on a snack run."
It was ten god damn minutes, how could she get so much food and stop mugging in such a short time?!
Oh, right, superspeed. Still, impressive.
"I haven't seen it-" he started, channeling all Dick-trying-to-wrangle-Damian-into-socially-acceptable-activity energy he could muster "-so I don't know how you fight or even what powers do you have. If we tried to fight together we would trip over each other" It was a bare faced lie, Bat training made sure of that but he knew for fact that if he said anything else, the girl would be mad and probably did her own thing.
Was that what Bruce thought about all of them?
Oh no.
Dani still looked displeased but after a moment of consideration she nodded with a defeated sigh.
Suddenly she straightened like she got struck by lightning and whipped around.
"Wha-"
She just shushed, raising finger to her mouth. Duke did indeed quietened.
"I have enhanced hearing," she whispered "There is a mugging somewhere this way."
"Let's go then," he shot his grapple, waving his other hand at Dani to come with him before he jumped off the roof. He heard the girl giggle as she flew right after him.
"After this you'll show me the coolest gargoyles, okay? Sam asked for photos"
"Okay"
It seemed that the end of this patrol wouldn't be as bad as the start was. Hopefully.
And afterwards he was going to lock himself in his room until sky falls down or he was well rested.
Yeah, that was a good plan.
********
"Hey kid," Signal started, dropping from fire escape to cuff weirdo in clown mask who Dani just fought. He did it deliberately slowly to show her how to do it like he always did. She choose to not be to annoyed at being called kid again and noted to herself to come up with good codename later. All her previous ideas apparently weren't cutting it and she couldn't keep going by Dani because reasons.
"Yes?"
"Who gave you a combat training?" he asked getting up from a crouch and gesturing towards roof. So it's going to be longer talk, okay.
"My cousin," well, Flashes in Central taught her some stuff but it was more rescue and reassure type of deal not punch and kick, Sam tried to get her through basics of psychological warfare in activism, Tucker sweared he would teach her some programming and hacking but never got around to it, Jazz did some emotional training and Val offered to teach her Red Huntress skills when she got back, but yeah, all in all, Danny was the one to show her how to punch people. Even though it was more of 'shit we have to fight, observe maybe, idk' most of the time. She picked some tricks from Vlad too now that she thought about it, not that she planned to give him any credit for it, like, ever. "Why?"
"I have a bone to pick with him," vigilante announced, melting with the shadows. Dani sped as much as she could to beat him to the roof. She was competitive spirit like that.
Unfortunately he was first. She made another note to herself (she was so going to forget them in next five to ten minutes) to train her speed a bit more. She got tips from the guy with the title of The Fastest Man Alive for crying out loud, she shouldn't loose with the person who technically doesn't even have superspeed!
Signal sat cross legged on the gravel and tossed her a healthy granola bar. He kept doing it for some reason.
"I'm sorry to break it to you, but almost everything in your fighting technique is horrible. Your cousin did shitty job as a teacher" he started in warm slightly teasing tone. Dani felt attacked anyway.
"It's not like he has any sort of training either," she started, trying to sound nonchalant, rolling her eyes. "Cut him some slack," She bit a snack in attempt to cover her furry. It had chocolate and raspberries, was quite tasty and she was kinda hungry anyway. She wasn't sure she wanted to know how Signal knew it though "Everything he learned is from the trial and error by crashing through a few walls. Quite hard to care about 'technique'. I at least got his mistakes to learn from so don't you dare to speak about him like that!" alright, she lost it, she can admit it. But, Signal might be cool and Danny may or may not like him (she hoped he didn't, Val was much better option) but Gotham's hero had no right to say anything bad about her template. He didn't know anything. He didn't understand.
Signal looked like he was going to say something so she put her ghostly vocal cords to use and growled.
Don't-harm-family/will-fight/ protect-mine/don't-you-dare
She didn't stop to consider how unlikely it was for him to understand her. She crossed her hands on her chest, glaring.
Turned out, growl was enough of the warning. He carefully picked his next words.
"Sorry, it's not the way I should've phrase it," he started, his mouth doing the thing it did when people were embarrassed with themselves but in an uncomfortable, a bit angry way. He understood his mistake, good. She calmed her glare a bit. "I wasn't aware of you circumstances. If you want, I can show you some tricks, Batman is very throughout with his training"
"No, thank you, I'm good" she was still mad. So mad. And she was not pouting.
"Of course you're good but you can be better, more efficient."
"No." Whatever Signal would propose to her, she wouldn't agree. He said mean things about Danny not even a minute before. She couldn't let him have it on a principle!
"I'll give you a cookie after every training," he pleaded "The homemade, tasty one"
Well, that changed things. A lot of things.
"Yes please!"
He apologized anyway.
********************
Second part
I know democratic winner in poll for now is "publish all at once" and believe me, I respect democracy, especially now that I finally have rights to do things, but Tumblr wouldn't let me. Too long or something. So, it'll be in parts, sorry guys. I'll try to post all of the parts this weekend though (or one each day, I'll see).
Yes, I didn't have a name for this fic until five minutes ago, how did you know? It's quite alright though, I think. If you have better idea I may reconsider
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almayver ¡ 4 months ago
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Alma dear, you’ve said that you’ve been on the jealous peem train for a long time. How do you think he’d act? What are the most juicy scenarios you can conjure with jealous peem?
Hey Cole! So yep, i’ve been in the Jealous Peem train for months now, but the funniest thing is I actually have no concrete idea?
Because the thing is, I don’t think Peek would know how to act either. He has probably only ever felt like mild envy towards Qs talent and things like that, but this? This has this weird tint of possessiveness to it that I don’t think he would know how to handle. And I think that’s what would make it interesting. Because you know our boy loves open communication, but it's hard to communicate when you don’t fully understand your feelings and when you feel like you shouldn’t be having them, right?
Ok this turned into a full-blown rant and doesn't make total sense but, putting it under the read more so I don't put a wall of text in the tag
So exploring that, I also believe it would be very specific. Like someone says that Phum is handsome and/or compliments him? Yeah, Peem at most rolls his eyes because yeah his boyfriend is the most beautiful person on earth, and he is great, those are just facts, actually more people should be saying it. Someone flirts with Phum? Well that’s just funny to him, they would probably make Phum flustered and Peem loves to tease his boyfriend. Also, he is just so secure on his boyfriend’s feelings that the fear would never be that Phum is going to leave him or find someone better. So what would make Peem jealous?
Well, jealousy at its core is about insecurities, right? So possible scenarios here that would make Peem feel weird (jealous Peem, you feel jealous)
The first one is a soft, fluffy friendship one! Peem is very much someone that is very good at comforting people, and with the comment of “You made me feel I couldn't be your comfort zone” we know how important that is to him, specially with Phum. But maybe down the line Phum feeling like shit for whatever reason and Q is the one to comfort him for some reason, maybe Peem is busy (I'm never leaving the Q-Phum besties agenda, I live there actually). And the fun element here would be the warring emotions of being so fucking happy that not only two very important people in his life are so close and comfortable with each other, but also the fact that this means Phum is not lonely and has so many people in his corner and that is the best thing he could hope for.
But. But there is this weird thing in his head that feels weird, this pure want of being the one that comforts Phum, the one that knows exactly what to say to make him feel better. And I think he would have that spiral of “what if I'm not good enough support for him, what if I'm a bad boyfriend, am I a bad friend and boyfriend for even thinking like this”. And he is maybe a little bitter, but he hates feeling like that. Eventually of course both Phum and Q would notice and be like “dummy, come on”, Q would probably actually call him dumb, while Phum would just go full puppy eyes and reassure him and also say something like “Honestly Q mostly calms me by talking about you.”
Ok got sidetracked by friendship feelings there sorry not even sure if that counts as jealousy, but I had to get that scenario out there
The others would be a bit more classic silly jealousy, I think.
So the second one that came to mid would come from how different their fields of study are. Imagine Phum working on a project being very excited talking about it (I was going to give an example, but I did 5 years of engineering and I still have no clue what civil engineers do so idk vague project it is) and it all sounds like Greek to Peem and Phum is scared that he is boring him so he stops rambling about it. But then Peem sees Phum talking with other engineering students, and it's just *sad kitten noises* because he doesn't know enough to talk like that with his boyfriend, and he is jealous of everyone that gets his attention in this very specific way that he can't get. (He later realizes that Phum feels the same way when he talks with Q about art and throughout their relationship they both just learn to listen to the other talk even when they don't fully understand and accept that the other just likes to hear them talk about things that they are passionate about)
The final one, tho? That's the one i crave. Because you know what I think would make Peem weirdly possessive and go all “MY puppy”? Someone making Phum laugh.
Phum, mister “casual small smirk 90% of the time but when I fully smile it looks like the sun came out”. They are maybe out in a bar or a party or whatever, and Phum goes for drinks or something and Peem is talking with the group about something when he hears Phum's laughter. And he stops and perks up like a meerkat because I'm sorry what. That sound normally only occurs when Phum is near him what is happening, something isn't right in the universe. And he looks towards the direction of the sound a Phum is cracking up because of some stranger and Peem is SEETHING, and he doesn't understand why, but he is angry and bitter and petty (everyone in the group is completely amused, they have never seen him like this)
But how would he react to that weird bitter feeling? Because i feel like even with the jealousy, he would never be mean or rude to someone that isn't doing something wrong. And also he wouldn't accuse Phum of anything because he knows that he would only feel sad. So I think he would go the other direction and basically do the equivalent of marking his territory. Like he suddenly ups the devoted attentive boyfriend thing to 200%, and he turns into a clingy koala. And he just keeps trying to make Phum smile and laugh because dammit, that pretty smile is his thanks. That is his personal sunlight, thank you very much. (Phum is delighted and just keeps smiling like the sun which just makes Peem want to make him smile even more, its a very fun cycle) But idk, that's a possibility.
(There's another more elaborate scenario that keeps bouncing around in my head that maybe ill turn into a fic but if it stays a half formed idea ill throw it in your inbox dear)
...that was A LOT. Thanks for sending this ask Cole that turned into a fun thought experiment.
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robininthelabyrinth ¡ 1 year ago
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@thedarkline ask which disappeared:
Can you do one where Huisang is upset about the loss of his best friends? After the cloud recesses and the training camp he looked forward to seeing Wei Wuxian and JC again and now they don’t even like each other and WW is so cold now. Maybe they deserve a forced vacation?
ao3
Nie Mingjue blinked.
“Oh,” he said. “I see. This is a hallucination, and I should go get checked out by the doctors.”
“Rude, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang sniffed. “Also, you should in fact go get checked out by the doctors some more. I’m still worried about you, you got out of bed too quickly after everything. But also: rude!”
“All right, I’ll concede that maybe I didn’t hallucinate and you in fact said what you said,” Nie Mingjue said. “But…why? I thought you liked Wei Wuxian!”
“I do like him! Of course I like him!”
Nie Mingjue threw his hands into the air. “Then why in the world would you want me to bring him to trial?”
“Because he hasn’t done anything wrong,” Nie Huaisang said. “It’s all a bunch of rumor and innuendo, and now Jiang Cheng had to throw him out of the sect and pretend he doesn’t like him – which is ridiculous – and we can’t all hang out the way we used to and it’s awful, da-ge! Just awful!”
“Pretty awful for Wei Wuxian stuck living on the Burial Mounds and Jiang Cheng having to rebuild his sect all by himself, but yes, by all means, let’s focus on how it affects you personally,” Nie Mingjue said dryly. “No fun hangouts with your friends. How will you survive?”
Nie Huaisang ignored him.
“My point is,” he said loftily, “if he’s found innocent after a trial, then he can come back. It’s perfect!”
“Huaisang…”
“I’m serious.”
Nie Mingjue rubbed his forehead and, reluctantly, started trying to actually think it through. Nie Huaisang could sometimes be distracted by shiny things, like a shopping trip or a new fan, but sometimes he would demonstrate his heritage by getting his teeth into something and stubbornly refusing to let up on it, ever.
It was nice to see him living up to at least some family traditions.
“Wei Wuxian did murder some Jin sect guards,” he pointed out. “He’s unquestionably guilty of that.”
“First off, no one cares about that,” Nie Huaisang rebutted. “And you know it.”
“They should. The fact that the Jin are soulless bastards isn’t exculpatory.”
“No, but also you’re wrong. The fact is, Wei Wuxian didn’t kill them.”
“What?”
“He didn’t! Wen Ning did.”
“…I’m not sure how it’s better that the Ghost General was involved.”
Nie Huaisang waved his fan at him. “Da-ge, don’t be obtuse! Wen Ning wasn’t the Ghost General at that point – he was just a fierce corpse. No consciousness.”
Nie Mingjue waited for his brother to explain his logic. He assumed there was some, anyway.
Nie Huaisang rolled his eyes as if he thought Nie Mingjue was being purposefully slow just to mess with him, which he wasn’t, for once. “Da-ge. Wen Ning was a fierce corpse who had been killed by the Jin sect guards. If he’d resurrected without Wei-xiong’s help, would anyone have said anything?”
“Of course not. A murderer’s victim seeking vengeance for the crime committed against them is a classic case that calls for liberation, provided they haven’t killed anyone else in the process or gotten a taste for killing people such that they would continue doing so afterwards.”
“Exactly.”
“But Wei Wuxian did resurrect him.”
“Naturally he did! He was looking for his friend, he wanted to speak with him; he’s a demonic cultivator. What could be more natural? It’s no different from a Lan playing Inquiry to see if they can find a lost soul. How was Wei Wuxian to know that the Jin sect guards had murdered him, and that Wen Ning would therefore arise as a fierce corpse bent on immediate vengeance?”
Nie Mingjue wanted to laugh, and also possibly to suggest that Nie Huaisang consider picking up a sideline in advocacy, except that he really didn’t actually want a lawyer in the family.
“All right,” he said, suppressing his amusement. “Let’s say I’m following where you’re leading. Then why didn’t Wei Wuxian, demonic cultivator, stop the murder?”
“Da-ge, please,” Nie Huaisang cast him a horrified look. “You’re not suggesting a cultivator can be held responsible for not acting swiftly enough to stop something, are you? Imagine how much of the cultivation world might be at risk if that were the rule!”
“Mm. A good point. Didn’t I hear somewhere that Wei Wuxian had already known that the Jin sect guards had killed Wen Ning…?”
“Surely Wei-xiong would never make such an assumption about the good, upstanding people that a good, upstanding sect like Lanling Jin took on as their own. It must have been a misunderstanding. You know how young heroes are, all bluster and hot air. Are we kicking people out of sects just for that?”
Nie Mingjue’s shoulders were shaking with the effort to keep his laughter inside.
“There, you see! Perfectly logical,” Nie Huaisang concluded, throwing his sleeves up with a flourish. “Obviously the entire sequence of events that led to Jiang Cheng kicking Wei Wuxian out is simply a misunderstanding. Easily resolved!”
“Right. And the Wen sect? They were supposed to be in Jin sect custody.”
“Uh, da-ge, the Jin sect appointed guards that killed some of them, a fact we know for sure because we’ve gotten it based on the testimony of the dead – again, like Inquiry. Are you saying we can’t rely on things like Inquiry? What will the Lan sect say if they hear you suggest such a thing?”
“I’m suggesting that we still need to do something with the Wen sect.”
“Let Jiang Cheng take them and put them to work.” Nie Huaisang shrugged. “He’s got a whole sect to rebuild, hasn’t he? Anyway, they were the ones who were massacred, they should get first call on what to do with them.”
“Firstly, taking them in means that Jiang Cheng has to feed them –”
“The Jin sect can pay for that, if they’re so enthusiastic about helping deal with them.”
“Secondly, why would Jiang Cheng want the kinsman of the people who killed his parents? I thought you liked him?”
“I’m getting him back Wei Wuxian,” Nie Huaisang said. “He’s going to have to deal with the baggage Wei Wuxian picked up along the way on his own. What do I look like, someone who fixes things for people? Please, da-ge. I’m only human. There’s only so much that I’m capable of.”
Nie Mingjue gave in and started laughing.
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etherealspacejelly ¡ 3 months ago
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ok so i just watched star trek the motion picture for the third time and this time it was the directors cut with the extra scenes, and i have some Thoughts™️that may or may not be entirely coherant but i need to share them
here is my in depth literary analysis of why star trek the motion picture is the greatest queer love story ever written (/hj). buckle up because this is gonna be a long one
so our story starts (after the klingon cold open ofc) with spock on vulcan, during the final ceremony in which he is supposed to acheive kohlinar, the purging of all emotion. now, right off the bat, i want to make a comparison to conversion therapy/being closeted/repressed here. spock is trying to repress an entire side to himself, a part of him that is inherantly different to those around him, in order to be accepted in society. spock is already a very queer coded character, and i think reading this scene through that lens is a valid interpretation, especially considering everything else that happens in this movie.
the ceremony stops before its completion. because spock has Not purged all of his emotions. a consciousness calls to him from the sky. now, i think this line could be interpreted one of two ways. either this 'consciousness' is v'ger, or its jim. i think the writers intended it to be v'ger, but in the context of the scene it sounds a lot more like jim. of course jim would be the one preventing spock from purging his emotions: jim is the reason for many of spocks emotional slip-ups throughout the series. he fears for jims life when he is in danger, he feels friendship for jim but also shame about those feelings (that shame is also queercoded, but thats not the point of this post so i wont get into it here). he feels compassion for jim. he feels loyalty and a sense of duty to him. these feelings are so strong that he cannot purge them fully.
so what does spock do? he off goes in search of something that he feels will help him achieve his goal. he wants peace within himself, to find a balance between his two opposing mindsets, that of logic and that of emotion. purging all emotion was unsuccessful, so what else can he do?
he feels that v'ger is a being of pure logic, and wants to understand it, in hopes of achieving that for himself. in the process he meets up with jim again. now, you would think, that a vulcan nearing kohlinar who has been training for years to purge all of his emotions and act purely logically would not stop to change clothes and cut his hair when on his way to acheive LITERALLY HIS LIFE GOAL that is super important to him. and yet. when spock turns up on the enterprise hes wearing his nicest black robes and has his classic bangs back. why is that mr spock?? why would you take the time to do that?? especially when he then immediately changes into his uniform.
and while we're on the topic of clothes, what does jim do immediately after spock boards the enterprise? thats right folks, he changes into a shirt that shows off his arms and has a v-neck to show off his chest. any. particular reason for that jim? when you said just a moment ago that every minute counts and the earth is in danger? hmm. interesting.
and then of course we get that exchange between jim, spock, and bones. where jim 'needs' spock. just like he needed bones. theres a desparation in his eyes, he wants HIS spock back, and hes not seeing that spock in front of him. the conversation ends with jim looking dejected, since spock only seems to be there out of convenience and not because he Wants to be. wonder why that is...
of course then spock mind melds with v'ger. and to do so he has to. go through a very sphincter-like opening. and says he has 'penetrated' the next chamber. now im just saying. if anything is a metaphor for gay sex, this has to be, right?
anyway.
spock mind melds with v'ger and is flung back into jims arms. because of course he is. and what did he learn from the whole experience? that v'ger is pure logic, and therefore cannot experience beauty, imagination, and "this simple feeling". wait. hang on. what simple feeling would that be, spock? the one you're talking about while holding jim's hand (HANDS?? VULCAN HOLDING HANDS?? HELLO???) and staring into each others eyes? what feeling would that be, i wonder?
and then. SPOCK CRIES. for v'ger. he 'weeps for v'ger as he would for a brother". v'ger is 'empty', as spock was when he came aboard. "incomplete, and searching. logic and knowledge are not enough," he says. bones asks if spock has found what he needed, and v'ger hasnt. spock says that v'ger wants to know what it was meant to be, to reach out and touch its creator.
spock is crying because he empathises with v'ger. v'gers journey parallels his own. they were both empty beings of pure logic. spock found his fulfilment in... what exactly? its not explicitly clear. but if we continue the spock/v'ger parallel to its conclusion, what do we find?
v'ger has taken ilia's form, and decker decides to merge with v'ger not only to save earth, but also to reunite with the woman he loves. v'ger becomes satisfied only when this happens. so... spock found his fulfilment by reuniting with someone he loves? if we take this in context with the 'this simple feeling' scene, the queer subtext is right there.
at the end of the movie, spock is offered to return to vulcan, and he refuses, stating that his business there is finished. he has achieved his goal of finding peace within himself. not by purging all emotion, but by embracing emotion, alongside logic, and allowing himself to feel what he has repressed his entire life. he resumes his place at jims side, which, as edith keeler stated, is where he belongs.
this movie is a queer story, and i will die on this hill. all of the evidence together stacks up that way. it is a story of repression, self acceptance, and love.
ALSO THE POSTER IS A RAINBOW-
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steveharrington ¡ 1 month ago
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i love your taste in movies, do you have any recommendations for scary movies that are on streaming right now? i just moved and i'm planning to get a library card this weekend but until then i need something to tide me over :)
oh thank you!!! yes! this is just from taking a look around at some of the horror streaming guides i’ve seen online so hopefully these are accurate to which service they’re said to be on!
on netflix:
•train to busan (2016) is an all timer for me that i really think is just a masterpiece. even if you’re a little burned out on zombie media, i still say give train to busan a chance because it does zombies in a way that felt really refreshing and different. the characters in this movie are so well done and it makes me genuinely emotional every time i watch <3
•as above, so below (2014) is such a fun movie like omg….i simply was having the time of my life watching it. really leans into as many scares as it can possibly think of, doesn’t take itself or its subject matter too seriously, genuinely gives me sweaty palms sometimes with the claustrophobia of the paris catacombs. also has the rlly cute guy from cloverfield/super store who i have a big crush on
•some honorable mentions: zombieland (2009) is forever a comfort movie for me, scary stories to tell in the dark (2019) did a genuinely great job imo of adapting the book series, and pearl (2022) is just a great time
on HBO max:
•poltergeist (1982) is an underrated fav of mine <3 weirdly i think of it as like a family friendly horror movie? like i think you could sit down kids in front of poltergeist and they’d generally be okay, which i love and find so compelling in movies that genuinely are scary but also kinda work with younger viewers. feat. the iconic zelda rubinstein
•trick r treat (2007): THEEE halloween movie. its literally a movie ABOUT halloween and about the love of the holiday and the season. genuinely makes me feel so emotional about halloween and the beautiful lovely meaningful holiday it is for so many of us. just a fun campy time, everything ties together in such a clever way, and sam is a little baby. what more could you want?
•honorable mentions: of course the scream franchise (1-4) are classics and so worthy of rewatching, and i’ll recommend open water (2003) because to me it is absolutely terrifying and i find myself thinking about it very often
on hulu:
•the omen (1976) always hits for me. i love this movie and find it so effective in its horror. i LOVE a creepy kid. a bit of the omen trivia: in the final shot, damien wasn’t originally intended to be smiling. he was supposed to look dead ahead at the camera. but the actor was told to be serious and look stern, which made him giggle, so the smile at the end is genuine in that he was trying to suppress a laugh. they kept it because it came across so sinister and tonally perfect in the context of the movie :)
•sea fever (2020) listen no one EVER talks about this movie but i was blown away by it. ocean horror is one of my moms fav subgenres so if we can find a horror movie about the ocean you better believe we will be watching. i thought the concept of this movie and its monster (? if you can call it that) were so fresh and original. compared to its predecessors like leviathan or deep star six, i honestly think sea fever is more effective in its scares
•honorable mentions: hulu has so many good choices! alien (1979) and the fly (1986) are obviously beloved classics for a reason. also if you’re looking for a series, castle rock is near and dear to my heart and is very well done
on prime:
•hell house llc (2015) is another one of those classic Halloween movies to me like it truly is a love letter to the holiday…mwah. found footage is my fav subgenre and this movie does it very well. it has one of the most effective scares that truly took my breath away upon first watch and stuck with me ever since
•10 cloverfield lane (2016): ohhh the cloververse my beloved….i often speak highly of cloverfield (2008) because it’s one of my absolute favorite movies of all time, but i don’t as often talk about 10 cloverfield. not sure why tbh because i love it as well! holy FUCK john goodman is scary in this. it truly sets up a horrifying situation, does so much with a small limited environment, and again john goodman has me shakin in my boots. you don’t have to have seen cloverfield to watch this one! you can watch em out of order no problem
•honorable mentions: of course the thing (1982) is immaculate and gets me every single time. just getting reports right now that lisa frankenstein (2024) is already on prime, HIGHLY recommend, wish i could go back in time to the day i watched this in theaters alone in a new windbreaker i had just thrifted and felt so at peace
honorable streaming service mention: shudder is worth a subscription if you’re wanting to go all in on horror this halloween season. it’s got such a fun eclectic collection and amazing movies like late night with the devil (2024) and series like history of horror
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callofdudes ¡ 1 year ago
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what about 141 with reader who's very old-school. Listens to metal and rock, dresses like a rocker from the 80s, has cassette tapes and vinyls, doesn't use technology etc. I'm like that and everyone always makes fun of me. ��
That's cool as shit. Also I'm sorry I kind of sidetracked and I wasn't really sure how to approach this... so if it's not what you wanted anon I'm very sorry.
Price 🥃
He thinks it's very cool. He doesn't meet a lot of recruits who aren't glued to their cellphones all the time. Of course while you couldn't get around not having one, you preferred not to use it. It was something he liked about you. Something that made you you.
Now... He would be lying if he said going into your room or your office makes him feel old as shit. Like really fucking old.
He pulls a vinyl record off your shelf and whistles in surprise. "Hey I used to have this..." And then it hits him. "Oh..." He's so bloody old.
He walks out of there with trauma. Every time he sees you walking around with a walkman or sees that Nokia you have displayed on your shelf he has a mid life crisis.
He likes the old songs you listen to, and hearing how you know the words to every 80's song really does bring him back to when his father would play it. Wasn't a huge memory, but it was something familiar in a way.
For your birthday he finds an old record player, yes, he was searching forever. But he found an old record player so now you could play the vinyls how they were intended.
And oh dear Lord the cassette tapes. He got PTSD from going to blockbuster and finding out no one had rewinded the tape before he rented it. Nightmares. Nightmares!! He picks one up and relays the horrors of going to blockbuster at eight at night, getting out near ten for your movie night and finding out you had to spend half an hour rewinding the bloody tape.
He had a lot to say about cassette tapes.
As far as your clothes go he doesn't really think about it much. He thinks some of them are impractical for training and such, along with questioning their durability. But whatever you want to wear he doesn't much care.
Sometimes Price hears the other recruits making fun of you. And he doesn't really understand it. It's nothing different from an older generation saying kids are stuck to their phones. What mattered was you liked it, and you were happy. Simple as that.
A good slap on the wrist from Captain Price gets them to shut up for a while.
He likes that you live how you want to despite the mean people around you.
Ghost 💀
Ghost never really had any technology even when it did start to come out late 80's early 90's. He does remember his brother eventually getting a phone and the old Gameboy he had at one point.
Yes. He is old enough. He had a walkman. The childhood memories he got from seeing that thing was horrendous. He remembered how after a while of trying to block out any noise with them, (which they weren't good for) his ears would start to hurt.
But it wasn't bad. He liked seeing the old vinyls and you seemed to know more than he did. Which wasn't a surprise really.
Your office reminded him of his father's in a way. The back shelf behind your chair stacked neatly with the rows of vinyls and their covers all so well taken care of. The record player from Price off in the corner whenever you wanted some music on just to relax.
They never watched many movies when he was younger, but he remembered when his brother would take his hand and guide him down the rows of shelves in the local blockbuster before their shared curfew so they could get some movies, and Tommy would usually try to sneak a more adult film in between the children's classics and things of that nature.
Your room also gives him PTSD. But only in the way of remember how awful it was. How the static on the tv would make the inside of his brain itch or how uncomfortable those walkman headphones were. Or remembering that space invaders game his brother would play when he was little. A lot of memories he didn't expect to have triggered.
But he thinks it's really cool. He recognizes bands that were really popular. Maybe you were a Rolling Stones kinda kid, maybe you were more into Metallica and such. Hell even Nirvana though it's more early 2000's.
(he might even steal one of your posters) shhh, you saw nothing!
You two jam out a lot. As a rock fan it would be only fair that the two of you were to listen to music together.
Loves your clothes. If they would ever fit him he'd steal them from you. But I don't think he'd so easily slip into them. Something he's sad about.
But if he ever hears anyone talking bad about you he's ready to give someone a good talk with the sharp end of his knuckles. Seriously, if they have the balls to talk shit about his sergeant, his friend, he's coming for them.
He won't let them tell you you're weird or other things because you're being who you want to be. Their just cowards.
Gaz 🧢
Now I think this one is tricky. Kyle was born roughly around when Walkmans started to become less popular so he never had any of the things Price or Simon did. However he did have an old cassette receiver where he used to watch old movies his grandma had bought or played some of the old games.
But your room. He loves your room. All the posters of old bands and records. The cassette player for your movies and stuff.
You also had a guitar that you occasionally played, he really liked that.
All the retro stuff like game figurines and what have you. All the cool clothes you have. If that really comfy AC/DC sweater you have goes missing. It's not a gremlin, just Gaz.
Also willing to just come to your room and jam out with your music. Also brings over some of his old games and convinces you to play them with him.
He thinks it is cool. You carry around a walkman and an old radio player for music and he enjoys them.
He is mostly interested in the bands you're into. He doesn't open up a whole lot but when he sees you playing these old songs he feels happy coming to you with CDs of jazz songs and older songs he likes to listen to. And it helps you two bond.
Let's be honest, he steals more of your old retro stuff from you than everyone else. Which is a surprise. He'll always leave you a little note telling you which tape set he stole or which thing he took from the dark reaches of your closet and how long he plans to have it be stolen for.
But you guys are besties like that. He wouldn't do it if he knew you wouldn't be even a little comfortable.
He's a property stealer just as much as Johnny is. That's the point. It just takes certain stuff for him to want to borrow it.
If he hears people bullying you, he's either squaring up right there. His gun does all the talking. He doesn't have to say anything, a good barrel in the face usually has them quieting down.
His second option is to cyber bully them to hell and back. So you're in good hands. Don't let those things get to your head or Gaz is gonna do some insane shit.
Soap 🧼
Doesn't know what half the shit in your room is. He's a baby, born just when that stuff started to fade from mainstream media and his pea sized brain couldn't register any of it.
A walkman? What the fuck is that?
Cassette tape?? Blockbuster?? What the actually fuck are you telling him. He's a smart little cookie but he's lost on this one. Like couldn't you just get a CD??
He isn't arrogant about it. But growing up in a traditional Scottish household he didn't have technology. He didn't have his first phone until 15, so he doesn't know what half these things are.
Hanging around Simon he knows the bands like AC/DC and Metallica, more 90's groups but he knows. He's seen a vinyl in his dad's room before but that's about it.
Loves your clothes. Absolutely loves them! He is dying to wear them, if they'll fit him that is... Maybe he'll buy something similar.
Is the guy who will buy a Nirvana shirt and know none of the songs just so he can match with you.
Again, a little property stealer. Snags a poster or two thinking you won't notice. A sweater or two during the fall. And if they don't fit him he's buying the exact same one off Amazon for 30$ don't test him.
He likes to learn about all the music you like. As the kid who was also raised in the outdoors. Sacrificing his life for little league football and Scouting in Scotland. He totally understands you not having the biggest hook over technology.
He doesn't really either.
The technology people of your group are surprisingly (not really) Ghost and Gaz. Give Johnny a few bombs and an open field and he's a happy camper. No technology required.
So he thinks it's awesome too. He definitely likes your style and always wants to know more. He wants to get into your hobbies and know all the knowledge he possibly can.
Tell. Him. Everything.
He's feral. If he hears any nonsense they better get ready to square up right there and then. He's tired of hearing people discredit others so a good punch without warning and those idiots are knocked out.
But he's also the prankster, so you give him a name and he will torture that recruit and their friends for a month with the insane stuff he can pull.
Price knows it's Soap, but without the recruits having concrete proof there is nothing to be done. And he thinks it's hilarious this time around.
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luna-andra ¡ 6 months ago
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The Shadows Return | Simon 'Ghost' Riley x OC Retired AU | Chapter 8: Compromise
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Summary: Andra wants answers, and Ghost has to choose
Word Count: 6.5k
If this is the first time you're seeing this, Chapter 1 is here. You can find the rest on my masterlist!
Content: slow burn, eventual smut, 18+, fluff, mentions of mental health, mild violence
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The clouds on the way home were overcast across the afternoon sky. Johnny left Andra with several things to think over, bringing her back to a familiar train of thought from five years ago.
He gave her the same look that stirred shame in her belly. She didn’t like being on a different level of rationality – or lack thereof – with the people once close to her.
It was declared by the officer that showed up there was no indication of foul play. The possibility of an incompetent and inconvenienced officer being sent to her call was in the forefront of her mind, and also the possibility of any traces of someone’s presence could have been washed away from the thunderstorm by the time they came out to investigate. The whole process of filing the report gave her no peace of mind, but she took the advice of setting up surveillance seriously.
A precautionary that she should have done ages ago.
The quiet, quaint life out on the farm had soothed her troubled worries all of these years, making her forget for a moment what it was like to live looking over her shoulder every moment. She wasn’t naïve, no, she knew how to take care of herself when the seldom case of harassment arose. Andra should have never gotten so comfortable the way she did.
Her foot pressed down heavily on the brake pedal as she waited at a stop light to rub the exhaustion from her eyes. She was just a few more turns from home, she reminded herself. The caffeine she had ingested all throughout the morning was threatening a big crash.
Andra drove slowly down Middleton Lane as she spotted the first right turn to the private dirt road of Ghost’s property. Then her truck came to a full stop. You know what-
Her hand turned the wheel right as her tires skid around the corner.
Andra didn’t know what she was doing, or what she would exactly say to him, but she needed to know what was going through his head.
Andra parked behind his truck and turned the key out of the ignition. She paused for a few seconds to take a breath and gather at least the first sentence that would come out of her mouth.
Her phone vibrated.
I’m in the garage.
Of course Ghost knew Andra had arrived, another sign that she definitely needed to do the same thing to her property. Cameras and motion sensors.
She shut the door behind her as she made her way to the garage off to the right of his house. One of the metal double doors was left cracked open, and she could hear the metal clink of a tool being put down.
The garage was Ghost’s own personal auto shop, with an incomplete classic-looking car taking up majority of the left. The wall was lined with tool boxes, yard tools, and almost a pallet’s worth of army green ammo cans. To the right, a rudimentary gym setup took up another portion of space, with a bench press, a high pull-up bar, seemingly crafted and welded together amateurly, and a rack of assorting dumbbells and plates to complete it all.
Ghost was hunched over the open hood of the car, one hand on the lip of the hood as he kept his attention on whatever he had been working on before Andra’s unannounced arrival.
“Is this your way of letting me know that you’re pushing me away again?” Andra sharply said to the backside of Ghost.
Ghost tossed a tool onto the toolbox on his left side and retrieved a rag, wiping grease from his stained hands. His muscles tensed in his back as he turned to Andra’s direction. “Today has been a really tense day. I wanted to give you some space to come down from last night.”
Andra clenched her jaw. “I don’t need space, I need answers. I feel like I’ve been kept in the dark about something I have no control over.”
“That’s because you don’t.”
She could feel her blood simmering already. Not how she wanted this to go. “I don’t because you never gave me the choice to take control.” Andra couldn’t recognize the person she was talking to. His stare was cold and dark. If his goal was to anger her into cutting her losses with him, it wasn’t going to work. “You didn’t tell me anything because we lost touch the first time, fine, I get it. But you went ahead and told Johnny? That’s what I can’t get passed.”
Ghost trudged out of the garage with Andra following behind him. “He and I had an eye on things. We had it under our thumbs.”
Andra tossed her hands up. “Had what exactly?” Her voice echoed all around them. “What the hell is going on with you?”
He turned back to her, stopping her in her tracks before bumping right into him. Ghost peered down to her, his eyes burning the same heat. “What do you want from me? You want me to take back what I did?”
Her fists clenched hard enough for her nails to dig into her palm. “No, I just want you to stop being such a hard ass and talk to me.” Her carotid artery strained against the muscles in her neck. “Tell me what you think is going on and we’ll deal with it together.”
He flinched as if her hand flew across his face.
“You keep acting like you’re looking for an excuse to push me away, for an excuse to leave.” Andra’s chest rose and fell with a heavy rhythm. “You act as if one morning I’ll wake up and you won’t be here, and you’ll just be a memory for me.”
His eyes squeezed shut as his own breath left him.
“You’ve thought about it, haven’t you? Leaving without another word, taking your shadows with you.” There was a shiver in her voice.
“I have.” Ghost finally answered. “I could leave in a moment’s notice. I’ve done it before.”
Andra didn’t doubt him. She had done it herself, she knew how easy it was to pack a couple of bags and leave. “What’s stopping you this time?”
Ghost opened his eyes to meet hers.
She scoffed and turned away from his silent response. The wind picked up and wisps of her hair flew around her face. She had to squint her eyes at the unbearable overcast sunlight. “I was able to forgive you for cutting me off the first time. I shook it off because there was no expectation for you to keep in contact after fixing my truck. Then you came back, and I thought you wanted me in your life, and maybe we even had something. Cool. Great, even.
“But when you brought up the transpiring events, the person driving up our street and telling me there have been people on my property?” She shook her head. “You think you’re handling this on your own but you’re not. I won’t let you. Either you let me know what’s going on, or you’ve lost my trust.”
His eyes were unreadable when she saw him once more.
Andra reached into her pocket and flipped her keys into her palm, the key ring sitting on her index finger as she clenched them tight. “I’ll see you around, Ghost. If you figure out what you want to do, you know where to find me.”
The screen door smacked the side of the house harder than it should. Andra wasn’t paying attention. Her face still felt hot with anger. Sammy darted outside for her chance to do what she does, leaving her alone in the house.
The air felt thick, charged with energy that wasn’t there when she woke up the morning before. Or maybe it was her mind messing with her. Either way, her house felt compromised.
The tears collected in her eyes out of nowhere, and she quickly wiped them away. This is stupid. She felt ridiculous for letting it get to her. For letting a shattered window re-surface the fear that drove her away to another country.
This was all going to blow over. The tracks in the woods were a random coincidence, the car meant nothing. And the rock flying into her window was just a freakish feat of nature. She’s witnessed some heavy storms in the countryside in her years of living here. It wouldn’t be the first time something has sustained damage on her property, and it was bound to happen again.
“Be kind to yourself.” Andra whispered to herself as she kicked her shoes off, remembering what she was taught in therapy and from self-help reading. However, being kind to herself was proving difficult with the lingering anger from talking to Ghost.
The nerve of him.
But also, the nerve of her. She felt the weight of her corrosive past. An affliction, threatening to dismantle the life she had built. It had to be irrational, she was no one. She wasn’t worth being tracked down, right? That’s the rhetoric she kept force feeding herself. They had succeeded in getting rid of her, she made sure of it. At this point, if anyone wanted to pursue in finishing the job, she would end up burning a hole in their dirty wallets.
And if Ghost was going to play the need-to-know card, two can play that game.
She stopped in her tracks as she walked into the kitchen, catching a glimpse of the black trash bag covering her window. It crinkled and swayed inward and outward with the passing wind. The ever-growing chasm in her chest was making itself comfortable, and she couldn’t stand it.
-----
 Ghost knew Johnny would stop calling after the second time he reached his voicemail. The third call in a row told him that he better answer the phone. His heavy hand reached out to the nightstand for his phone, swiped his thumb across the screen and pressed it against his ear, eyes closed. “Yes, sir.”
“You broken, Simon?”
Price’s gravelly voice came through the speaker on his phone, and it was like a splash of cold water on him. It was a question he was familiar with Price asking, except he’s no longer checking for missing limbs or hemorrhaging blood loss. Ghost sat up on the edge of his mattress and rubbed the exhaustion from his eyes. “M’solid.”
“When’s the last time you got a full eight hours of sleep?” Price asked.
Ghost took a quick glance at the time on his phone before returning the receiver to his ear. “I was getting’ rest before you woke me up.” He was only asleep for two hours, and his pounding head reminded him that it had been a restless 72 hours.
Price doesn’t reach out very often. The captain – along with the other lads – will dedicate an amount of time out of the year to catch up with the former task force in person. It was an annual event of spending the holidays doing anything but celebrating Christmas and New Years. When he hears from Price before November, it’s because he’s been tipped off on Ghost’s concerning behavior.
“Soap tells me you’re acting barmy, you think you’re being followed, son?”
There it was.
Ghost didn’t respond for a few beats, his feet felt like lead against the cold wooden floor. “A couple of events transpired, would put you on edge, too.”
He could hear a deep sigh come from the other end of the line, and it had Ghost clench his jaw. “Get yourself to an appointment or a meeting, or I’ll bring the meeting to you.”
Price’s demand sent a wave of guilt and shame through Ghost. The memories of being pulled up off the living room floor and thrown into his tub flashed behind his heavy eyelids. Price, Johnny and Gaz showed up. Ghost reeked of alcohol and piss. They had him hauling bags of sand back and forth from his backyard to the range on his property for several hours, making him sweat and puke the remains of alcohol in his system.
“I’m still sober.” Ghost gritted his teeth. He made Ghost sound like an addict.
Price clipped his words, “See your doctor, and get out of bed for a sweat.”
Ghost opened his eyes to the void of his darkened room and sighed. “I’ll set up an appointment today.”
“Good lad.” Beep-beep-beep went the line as Price disconnected the call.
Sleep had eluded Ghost once more. He sat there at the edge of his bed and rolled his neck, failing to relax the knotted muscles at the base of his neck. His eyes burned, and his headache pressed down on every surface of his skull. He felt an irritation for Price waking him up, but rationality told him it wasn’t his fault.
Since sleep was out of the question, Ghost stood up and peered out the bedroom window. The sun wasn’t due to come up for another couple of hours, but he insisted to listen to Price’s advice. Get a workout in, then when the office opened, call doc to get that appointment.
His feet were heavy as he shuffled to the bathroom. Ghost always looked down to the basin of the sink before turning on the lights, avoiding the reflection staring back at him. He watched as his hands gripped the edge of the counter. Scars littered his knuckles, the skin over bone splitting open too many times for him to count.
It was when he was sick of looking at the reminders of his violence when he slipped and the person he hated stared back with cold, dead eyes.
You’ve tried killing me so many times, but fail every single time. You need me. You need the mask. You need it to hide so there’s never a chance to hurt again. You don’t deserve her. You try and pretend to be someone worthy of a teaspoon of affection, but you’re not what she needs. You’re filthy. You’re-
The glass shattered against his fist as he struck as quick as an asp. He hissed between clenched teeth, cursing as the reached for a towel and covered his bleeding knuckles.
If one thing was for certain, his reflection was right.
He didn’t deserve her.
-----
Andra flipped closed the back end of the book and placed it on her blanket covered lap to rub her tired eyes. Every night she would read The Operators when it was evident she wouldn’t be getting peaceful rest, or when something had her jolting awake. She had no clue how many hours she had slept in the past couple of days; definitely not enough to keep her from loading up on caffeine and making her debate breaking her years of being nicotine-free.
She could hear the roosting of her birds out in the coop. Andra leaned her head back against the headboard and sighed. There wouldn’t be time to try and fall asleep. Her day had to start.
After the morning chores, Andra headed inside for another cup of coffee. She stared out of her newly replaced window, out into the distance. It was hard not to; it was as if something – or someone – was going to come storming out from the brush and trees. All remained quiescent in those groves, as logic would have it.
The rattling sound of her plastic phone case vibrating against the countertop broke her focus. She swiped her finger across the screen and pressed the speaker button. “What’s up, Johnny?”
“I need to ask a favor.”
His voice was hushed and the words were muddled like he had the phone pressed against his mouth, and she could hear the workings of the auto shop in the background.
“I need you to go check on Ghost for me, he called out of work this morning.”
Andra felt her chest and throat tighten all at the same time. Johnny wasn’t aware of the fallout between her and Ghost from the sound of it. Or if he did, he must be extremely concerned for Ghost’s silence. I figured he would be used to it by now… she thought bitterly. “You need me to go immediately?”
“Take yer time, a mate of ours reached him this mornin’. Just pop over there when you get a chance. Gotta go, text me.”
The line went dead before Andra could say bye. She released a heavy sigh after taking her first sip, her fingers tapped against the countertop as apprehension churned in her gut.
Maybe Ghost took their last conversation as motivation for him to actually leave.
Tears pricked in the corner of her eyes, and she rubbed them away with her thumb and index finger, pushing her fingers together to pinch the bridge of her nose. She didn’t want their relationship – friendship – whatever they had, to end on that note. Fuck, I messed up.
She took a deep breath to regain composure. You don’t know if he’s gone. Andra decided she would go by after her run to the post office to pick up her package. With a quick rinse of her empty coffee mug, she headed to the front door to collect her keys and purse.
The sound of gravel crunching and a vehicle engine made her pause in her tracks. Her heart raced, she could feel her adrenaline dump. Her shaky hand moved aside the curtain to look out the window beside the door, and the sight of Ghost’s truck had her releasing a heavy breath.
It took everything in her not to throw the door open and run to him. She took another grounding breath and unlocked the door, opening it to Ghost preparing to knock.
Andra swore her heart was going to burst. The look in his eyes mirrored the same surprise she displayed. The discernible presence of a bandage wrapped around Ghost’s hand caught her attention in the corner of her eye.
He noticed where her eyes fell to, and shoved it in the pocket of his jacket. “You got a minute to speak?”
His voice sounded like sandpaper. He looked just as sleep deprived as she felt. Andra couldn’t say anything, so she just nodded. She closed the door behind her and opted to sit on the wooden bench, leaving a space for Ghost to sit beside her. He never did, instead he decided to lean against the railing, his ankle crossed over the other.
Seconds passed before anything was said. “I’m not good with words, you’ll have to bear with me.”
Andra folded her legs beneath her and clasped her hands together. Her eyes remained on him as she waited to hear him out.
His head tilted down. “I gave a lot of thought to what you said, about losing your trust.” He rolled his neck, rolling the nerves and giving him a chance to think. “And I realized, taking a bullet is far less painful than that.”
Andra could see his adam’s apple bob in his throat underneath the fabric of his mask as he tilted his head back with closed eyes. She felt her throat tightening, and had to swallow to relieve the ache.
“So, I’ve come to terms with if I want to mend what I had with you, I’m going to have to find a way to tell you what you need to know.” Ghost’s eyes found hers, searching for a response.
She gave him a subtle nod, letting the words sink in. “How are you going to do that?”
Ghost uncrossed his ankles and took the two steps to sit beside her. It was a struggling few seconds for him to begin speaking. “Did you ever pick that book back up?”
Andra was confused by the approach he was taking, but went with it. “Yeah, I finished it actually.”
"Did the author talk about some of his assignments?" Ghost asked patiently.
She recalled what the author was able to talk about and reveal. "Not specifics, but he went in detail with Selection, and then the training thereafter and some events that happened in the 80s in Northern Ireland."
He nodded as he listened. "What did the training entail?"
"Physical training, a lot of sleep deprivation, weapons and vehicle tactics, photography, interrogation..." Andra's words drifted as she continued her recollection. She wouldn't say this out loud, but it was a dry read.
Ghost cut in at the mention of the last topic. "Interrogation, okay." His shoulders rose and fell as he let out a deep breath, and his hands flexed over and over. "I've been on both ends of being interrogated. Not just in training, but out on the field." His red-rimmed eyes aged several decades, and her chest grew heavy. "And there were times the bars and stars – officers that outranked me and my team – had ordered us to let go of the person we had just roughed up.
"They were dangerous people, Andra, do you understand what I'm trying to say?"
Andra was piecing together why Ghost had given her that book to read. It was more than just what was on the surface. The selection process, the training, the assignments, the images in the book illustrating the teams with black lines redacting their eyes. It occurred to her then when she was reading it all, Ghost was another one of the SAS operatives that had an alias, he had paperwork with his name on it that contained redacted information on what he and his team had accomplished, but now discussing it all solidified it for her.
Not only him, but Johnny as well, and Johnny had brought up a few other names. People that were also special forces.
It was sobering. She never took the time to sit with all of this information and come to terms that these men had enemies that went deeper than just being from differing nations. Enemies that may or may not still be alive out there, preying on the downfall of the men she had come to know.
“Has anyone ever found you or Johnny?” Andra asked with a tremble in her throat.
“No.” He answered definitively. “And I would like to keep it that way.”
Andra nodded, as she fully agreed with him.
Ghost leaned back against the bench. “I truly never intended to alarm you and bring you to endless conclusions. I wish I could take it back, my foolishness, everything.”
“You can’t help that, though.” Andra defended. “It was a really messed up chain of events.”
There was a pregnant pause. “I have moments like these when there are too many coincidences happening at once. I’ve been working on how I handle it.”
Andra turned to him. “Do you… talk to someone about it?” She felt hesitant to ask.
Ghost’s eyes slid back to her. “Does that bother you?”
She shook her head swiftly. “No, oh Gods, no I didn’t mean it that way.” Her hands covered her face for a moment. “That was wrong of me to ask.”
Ghost reached for one of her hands. “You have every right to know, doll.” The calloused pad of his thumb brushed the top of her hand. She could feel a tremor in his touch.
It would have warmed her heart had it not been for the churning contrite souring her stomach. He had every right to know, too, but how would she even begin to tell him?
His injured hand was holding hers. She took this opportunity to distract herself from the guilt eating at her. “What happened to your hand?”
“Ridiculous accident with some glass.” He answered too quickly. Andra could feel him wanting to recoil, but he continued to let her hold his hand. Her peripheral vision gave her a peak of Ghost studying her face. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look exhausted.”
Andra let go of his hand and rubbed her eyes. “I really haven’t been sleeping. Every little noise wakes me up, and I lay there for hours.”
Ghost’s eyes turned serious. “What can I do to remedy that?” Andra started to shake her head. “No, I’m responsible for this. Name it, I’ll do what I can.”
“I was actually on my way to go pick up a security system I ordered from the post office.” Andra raised her hand with her set of keys jingling.
Ghost stood from the bench, Andra followed in suit. “That I can do.”
Her smile returned. If it was one thing Andra was certain about Ghost, acts of service was how he communicated his apologies. It was easier to demonstrate with his hands than words.
After picking up the hefty box of camera and motion sensor equipment, Andra worked around the farm after her and Ghost discussed where the best places to set up the cameras would be. He got it done in less than a few hours, giving them time to pick up food together.
As they traveled, she remembered Johnny was waiting for an update from her.
Ghost is fine, we’re picking up food.
“So, you read the book in the past three days?” Ghost asked to start up chatter. Look who’s talking more now.
She hummed. “I read when I can’t sleep, and found it sitting there on the table before I locked up for bed.” Andra glanced at him. “What do you do when you can’t sleep?” Her phone vibrated with a response.
Thank you.
Ghost shrugged. “I lay there hoping I fall asleep.”
“I would get so bored.” Andra confessed, tapping her hands on her thighs. “You don’t even scroll through Netflix or something to try and turn your brain off?”
“I don’t have Netflix.” He responded.
Andra shook her head and blinked. “Remind me to give you my login.”
“I don’t watch TV or movies.”
Now she was looking at him like he was crazy. “You’re lying. You’re a liar.”
He rolled his eyes. “I do watch movies, but they’re all old war movies or westerns on DVD.”
Andra narrowed her eyes. “What are you, fifty?”
Ghost chortled. “I have a while before I hit fifty, thank you for that.”
“How long is a while?” Andra smirked. “Five years or six months?” His mouth opened, but she kept going. “Wait, I bet you have M.A.S.H. all on DVD, don’t you?”
“There’s nothing wrong with M.A.S.H.” Ghost defended.
“Yeah, when you’re as old as my dad and watching it on your days off as you doze on the living room couch at eleven in the morning.”
“You’re pushing your luck, doll.” Ghost warned with a grin in his voice. “Let me put it this way, I joined the Royal Air Force after the events of 9/11.”
Andra’s face went slack and her eyes were as wide as saucers. She turned to the passenger window with a hand pretending to scratch the side of her head and wondered if he would be weirded out if she told him she was in grade school during 9/11.
Her silence was loud in the cabin. “We’re not that far apart in age if you know M.A.S.H.” Ghost resumed.
Andra raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you saying I look old?”
“No.” His accent thickened as his voice dropped. “I didn’t say that.”
She was having too much fun busting his chops. “We have a tad bit of an age gap,” she demonstrated with her thumb and index finger with a small gap, “I’m a ninety’s baby.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Three years is a tad of an age gap, not a whole decade.”
Andra rolled her eyes. “Is this what I have to look forward to in my thirties?” She laughed at the flash of astonishment as he panned a look at her. “I’m kidding! Well, kind of, but I’ll be thirty next summer.”
Ghost smoothed his hand over his covered mouth. “You’re killing me, woman.”
“Best stay on top of those heart meds then – ooh!” Andra shot forward and was caught by her seatbelt from Ghost slamming the breaks harder than normal. “You’re gonna cause an accident, sir.”
After a few beats of silence, Ghost changed the subject. “I hope the camera system will give you some peace of mind.”
“I’m sure it will.” She nodded with a hopeful smile.
Ghost ran inside the chip shop they ordered from while Andra sat in the truck to keep it running. Her head tilted back onto the head rest as she stared up at the roof of the truck. The lack of sleep was catching up to her, and now that there was less of a problem with surveillance around the farm, she felt the muscles in her shoulders relaxing.
The sudden sound of the driver door opening had her jerking back awake. She attempted to cover up the fact that she had dozed off in his truck with a little stretch of her legs.
Ghost handed her the bag of food without noticing her brief second of sleep and drove back to her house.
-----
“I get why you go to this place.” Andra spoke in between eating in the living room with him. “It’s not bad.”
“It’s also because Johnny has been getting us discounts from his little girlfriend.” Ghost wiped his mouth with a crumpled napkin.
Andra looked over the app on her phone that connected her to all of the cameras on her property. The feed looked really good, giving her confidence that she could point out important details if she ever had to. She switched to the camera that aimed at the dirt driveway with both trucks sitting outside. Her thumb and index finger spread across the screen to utilize the zoom feature; she was able to read off the license plate numbers from each truck.
“Thank you again for setting up the cameras.” Andra locked her phone and placed it down on the coffee table.
Ghost covered the lower half of his face back up with the balaclava as he finished his own meal. “Thank you for letting me.”
Her heart fluttered at the sudden drop in his voice. His eyes were set on her when she turned to look at him. Despite not being able to see his expression, she could feel a softness in his brown eyes.
“Let me get these out of the way.” Ghost insisted as he began to collect the takeout containers. Andra sucked down the last of her drink in her Styrofoam cup and tossed it into the bag Ghost was using.
Andra slipped a hand in the back pocket of her jeans. “You staying for a little while?”
“I can.”
She felt some relief for having to spend less time by herself for the evening.
While Ghost did his thing, Andra browsed her bookshelf in search of a new read.
“Anything interesting?” Ghost asked as he returned.
Andra chose Dune from the shelf. “Maybe.” She returned to her designated reading lounge chair and curled her legs up. “How far did you get with The Outsiders?”
Ghost scratched the back of his head. “Maybe the first fifty pages.” Then, he tilted his head. “How did you know I had it?”
Andra smirked. “It was gone the following morning after you left.”
Did she have him flustered? The indecisive glance to the couch and back to the front door then back to the kitchen was amusing enough to have her grinning.
“I have it in the truck, actually. Be right back.” Ghost made his way outside, letting in a kissing, chilly breeze.
It must have been the book she chose, or the way she receded back into the cushions, but she felt the wave of sleepiness return back. Or maybe it was Ghost’s presence, knowing he was only a few feet away on the couch with Sammy next to him. He emitted an aura that Andra could only classify as comfort. Safety.
She knew he was safe to fall asleep around, she knew he would keep her safe.
Andra flinched out of the sleep she was slipping into and let out a disappointed sigh. Her book was still in her hand, but the pages were damp from the warmth of her fingers holding them in place. She closed the book, not worried about where she left off because she wasn’t paying attention anyway and softened her movements as she looked to her right.
Ghost’s head lulled to one side from the upright position he fell asleep in, his arms crossed over his chest and his own book sitting on the table with Sammy resting in her own bed by the window. The heavy breath he suck in and released told her he was deeper in that sleep than she was.
How is he sleeping with the mask on? Andra wondered.
With light movement, Andra rose from her chair and padded quietly to the hallway closet to retrieve a blanket. He looked as tired as she felt halfway through the day, and she wasn’t about to wake him up and send him home. She unraveled the blanket and moved to lay it over Ghost just above his arms and below his collarbone.
But his awareness was more keen than Andra had anticipated. Ghost reached out, throwing the blanket off and swiped her wrists single-handed. The room went spinning, and she let out a small yelp as her back met the bottom cushions of the couch, his grasp securing her wrists above her head.
Ghost’s eyes were wild with alert, then widened as he realized who he just wrestled down. It startled her at first, but out of nervousness a chortle escaped. Then a chuckle, and confusion wrinkled Ghost’s eyebrows.
She probably looked insane to him. She was supposed to be frightened, but all she was was dizzy. And too aware of how his body hovered over her. The grip on her wrists eased up but remained there. Her giggles dissipated, along with whatever she was about to say. She was too absorbed by Ghost’s eyes darting all over her face, and she wasn’t too sure, but she was almost certain he kept looking to her mouth.
Before Andra could register what she was doing, she pressed her lips against the teeth of the skull pattern on his mask, hitting her mark as she felt his lips beneath. Ghost pulled away like she had put his hand in an open flame, his eyes widened. Oh shit, what have I done –
His empty hand shoved up the fabric of his balaclava and he smashed his mouth against hers. Heat blazed through her face, molten liquid flooding her core as she took in every sensation overwhelming her. The fierce hunger of his kiss. The friction of their bodies pressed against each other. The solid grip Ghost had on her wrists.
She couldn’t get close enough to him. Her leg attempted to hook around his waist, but only succeeded in wrapping around a thigh that nestled its way between her legs.
He couldn’t pull himself away, and instead fed the part telling him to nudge his knee where she wanted it. Ghost freed her hands to grip the thigh pulling him in, giving her free reign to cradle his stubbled jaw. His fingertips worked divots into the fabric of her jeans, earning a small sound from her tightening throat.  
Andra hoped there would be marks later left where he was squeezing.
Her tongue slipped out between her lips and playfully swiped across his mouth. Oh fuck, the sound that just came from him… Andra had never heard arousal so delicious before.
All of Ghost was crashing through her like a freight train. His taste, his heat, his sounds. Her head felt like it’s been shoved underwater, and she has no intentions surfacing for air. Not when drowning in all of him felt this good.
Ghost reciprocated her invitation and found his tongue pushing through the slit of her lips. She felt her own arousal winding tightly in her warmth. Anything more was likely going to set her off. There’s no way I’m coming just from this, she cursed herself.
Ghost pulled away, hit hot breath fanning over her face. He moved his free hand to his mask, but it remained there. One second, two seconds. His mouth slackened into a frown, lips parted with labored breathing. The trance had been broken between the two. He retreated from where he had Andra pressed into the couch, his hands ran down his face and stayed there as he battled with himself.
Andra adjusted her shirt as she sat up and gave him a nudge of space. “Hey,” she softly said as she brought his hands down, cradling them in her own. “You don’t need to.”
“I want to.” He rasped, breathless from their kiss. “I don’t know why, but I can’t.”
“It’s okay.” She took his hand away from his face and stroked his knuckles with her thumb.
Ghost blinked a few times like he was waking up from a dream. “I shoved my tongue in your mouth.” He stated, a little too forward. His words had heat rushing to her face. “The least I can do I show you who is beneath this.” He gestured to the mask covering half of his face, a bitterness in his words directed to his disguise.
Andra slowly raised her hands to the bottom half of his revealed face. He flinched away from the contact, but settled as she let her thumbs brush against the stubble on his jaw. She made no subtle movements; just exploring the craters and slits across his skin.
Ghost watched her silently, attentively, his eyes flickering back and forth. She can feel the intensity, a man questioning the intentions of the woman touching him, holding the privacy and secrecy he clings to. He sucked in a breath as she took hold of the balaclava and didn’t exhale until Andra had pulled it back down over his face.
“If you’re not ready, then you’re not ready.” She affirmed.
 His bandaged hand brushed Andra’s disheveled hair behind her ear. Ghost leaned in and pressed his covered mouth against her forehead. Andra gave him a meek grin as he pulled away.
Andra felt this moment building up to a goodbye, but she took his hand again. “You can stay here for the night. I don’t want you driving back even if it’s just down the street.”
He reached down on the floor and picked up the blanket. “If that’s alright with you, I’ll take up the couch-”
“Sleep on a bed, for gods’ sake.” Andra nodded her head to the stairs. “I have an extra room upstairs.”
Thankfully, Ghost didn’t argue. Heavy feet dragged themselves up the stairs, Sammy following them both. They took pause as both turned to each other from across the hall. There was so much she wanted to say, but the brief, drowsy goodnight that was exchanged had them retreating into their respective rooms. Andra leaned against the closed door, clouds in her head and lips swollen with the phantom sensation of their catalyst.
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wlw-imagines ¡ 2 years ago
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A Different Kind of Attack - Danvers Sisters (Supergirl)
request: Hi, I was wondering if i could please get a supergirl oneshot where the reader is the youngest danvers sister, and she has asthma and has a really bad asthma attck while training with kara? - anon
a/n: these are from my old tumblr thefandomwritings from back in 2018 ! re-vamped and re-purposed!! hope u enjoy and forgive the 2018 me style writing and also v short
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"Y/N!" Alex shouted, "You've got to move faster." She stood at the side of the room, watching you and Kara spar - getting out all of your sibling rivalry. The classic bet had taken place of ‘who can win in a fight’ - you know, typical Danvers sisters nights in together.
You grunted out a response, "That's easier said than done, Alex." You gritted your teeth and went for another punch towards Kara, jabbing harder with your left fist. Kara only just managed to dodge, her powers having been reduced in order to make it a fair(er) fight.
As the punches you were throwing at your older sister sped up so did your breathing. You could feel the sweat dripping down you collarbone but you still pushed on, proving that you were more than capable.
"Okay, call it off guys." Alex stepped in, forcing the two of your apart, "Kara, you're form is off and you're losing energy quick. You can't rely on your superpowers..." You zoned out as Alex addressed Kara, taking the time to criticize her stance before she came to you.
As the adrenaline from the fight wore off you put your hands on your knees, bending over as you tried to get your breath back. Having to breath rapidly was something you were used to in your intense exercise sessions but it wasn't usually this bad. You straightened up again, putting a hand on your chest - it was feeling too tight and you still couldn't slow down your breathing. That alone made you start to panic and your wheezing just seemed to increase.
You were vaguely aware of one of your sisters placing a hand on your shoulder and so you looked up to see Kara and you attempted to say that you were fine, that you just needed a moment, "Kara, I- f, fi- Do-"
You just couldn't get your words out, making Kara visibly freak slightly. "Alex? What-"
Alex just gently sat by your side, biting her lip lightly, "I think it's a... she just needs to- Y/N? I need you to stay calm for me." She spoke half to you and half to Kara, not quite sure who to calm first as things escalated.
"Alex!?"
"Kara, it's fine. She's going to be fine. Just stay calm." She directed to both of you, but now focused on you completely.
"But what-?"
"It's an asthma attack." She took your hand to support your weight before you could collapse or fall, she squeezed it lightly before looking at you more closely, "You haven't had one this bad in a while." You stumbled backwards slightly, making Alex take a sharp breath in. She kept your hands interlinked and put her other hand on your back, supporting you. "Y/N, I'm just going to sit you down." Alex lowered you to the ground and put your back against the wall, keeping your torso straight.
"Alex, her lips are going blue-"
Alex just nodded and stayed by your side, motioning for Kara to join the two of you, "Kara, I'm going to go get her a hot coffee or tea or something. I need you to stay with her, just keep talking and keep her breathing and calm. It's going to be fine, honestly." She reassured herself more than anything this time. "Is that okay?" She asked but Kara was entirely focused on you, only sparing enough broken focus to mumble out a response.
"Yeah, I- of course." Alex nodded and left, whilst Kara kept her soft gaze glued on you. The pain in your chest and the tension in your shoulders was beginning to decrease ever so slightly but it felt like you still couldn't get a full breath in, even if you wanted to.
You dropped your head slightly, feeling a wave of exhaustion wash over you as you gained more and more control over your body and your breathing.
"Hey, little sis." She nudged your shoulder slightly, "How are you doing?"
"I'm oka- Yo-"
She smiled and put her hand up to silence you, nodding, "Okay, that was a stupid question, sorry! Apparently you humans have to breath regularly to survive so you should probably do that a bit now."
You wheezed out a breathy laugh and went to respond but chose to just shake your head at her instead.
"Bad time for a joke?" She asked, her smile only broadening. You just gave her a sarcastic pointed look, "Okay, fair." You both fell into a comfortable silence as Kara helped you fall into breathing at a more regular pace. After a while, Kara cheerily patted your knee, "Hey, see, you're doing great. Keep breathing, in and out."
You and Kara continued on like this for who knows how long before Alex made it back with some steaming hot chocolate. You smiled and wrapped your (still shaking) hands around the hot drink, gripping it enough to not spill any.
The three of you just sat for a while, not wanting to trigger any further asthma attacks, and allowing you to slowly regain normal colour to your face. You knew you were almost fully recovered when your stomach started to growl (Kara had been starving for a while now but she didn't want to leave your little bubble of chatter, these were her favourite moments). Alex insisted on going out to grab sandwiches, whilst you two stayed put.
Eventually you turned to Kara and snorted slightly, gaining her attention, "You know, you're surprisingly bad at keeping people calm in a bad situation. Like, for a superhero..." You trailed off, sending your sister a cheeky grin.
"What?! I was great!" She gasped, putting a hand to her chest in mock shock.
"Oh, sure! I couldn't breath and you were having your own freak out in the corner! Alex had to calm you down first." You criticised, knowing that you could joke about it now.
"Okay, that's true. You know I like to be dramatic." She blushed slightly and shrugged before turning slightly more serious and wrapping her arms around your shoulder, "I was just worried you know? You're my favourite little sister, I don't want to see you hurt. Ever."
You smiled, feeling a spreading warmth in your chest at that (in a good, healthy, definitely just love and not another asthma attack way). "I'm your o-"
"-Only little sister." She interrupted and finished for you, "I know, I know. Doesn't mean you can't be my favourite."
"Then you are my favourite Kryptonian older sister."
"Thank you." She kissed your temple. The sound of the door opening and Alex holding up your food made you both immediately jump to your feet faster than you should have been capable of, "Come on, let's get home and eat!" Kara cheered, pulling on your arm.
The three of you would always be there for one another, in any situation.
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kaledya ¡ 4 months ago
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I LOVE dark fantasy, (vamp/creepy gods) deep political drama and families and the steampunk vibe on it. The cherry on the top ! I'm probably more of a Edwardian era girly that Victorian era girly but love both of them.
For your story, its a nice start for the differences in social hierarchy, it's a classic. I am not familiar of Brandon Sanderson's (did I write the name right?) Books because they're not really well translated in my language, in my opinion. But I can help with some refs if you want !
For exemple, if you are new in writing this type of worlds, I would recommend "soft worbuilding and big on vibes". With visuals (anime) : Violet Evergarden, Howl's Moving Castle. Both are fantasy soft steampunk-y. You can see on the concept art, props, machinery that are not too complicated to make and design. Jules Verne's works/drawings are a basic for the steampunk theme! Of course.
Then If you want something more deeper for the construction of society, Arcane (the show) is a very good dichotomy of rich and poor. If you want to have nice victorian clothes searching, you have the manga EMMA from Kaoru Mori (beautiful drawings!)
I know steampunk fantasy books but I don't know if they are translate in foreign languages ??
ANYWAY ! I need to stop! Because this message will be longer than any human life spend ever ahah!
___
Also yes I have started my own AU before I know your art. Just "how would I have written Hazbin Hotel ?" I did a full redesign of mostly all the characters, have OCs and deeper lore on Eve/Roo/Lilith part of the story and a ALL deeper lore on Alastor, Alastor's backstory. Its the focus of it.
Its very demonical hierarchy, bureaucratic kind of vibe ? Like :
Character : "I will postponed my duel. We need that information... and this file?" Other character : "Let me call this president... yes. I need a new weapon for... what do you mean half of my legion is fucking dead ?! WHO is training them ?! I need an advocate." (Hell have presidents) Character 3 : "What the hell is the Order of the Flies ? What do you mean Satan had a revolution in mind ? I need a coffee. No. Kill me."
I just think its so funny that demons have a human hierarchy, makings calls and just dying under paperwork. Its chaotic. For exemple, Charlie has brother and sister, one just left Hell to chill in Earth, the other is kinda married to her uncle ? Its just wild. But demons !
I paused it to write fully Arencha Amendable! At the beginning, It was HARD for me to remember that your prince of Hell (Constantine) for exemple, is not my prince of Hell (In my AU) or the fact Alastor as a daughter too in my AU who is NOT like Serenity at all ahah. So I really work on knowing your SS AU to be great at it !
I would be happy to show it to you but not in public.🌸🌸🌸 In case I want to write it on ao3 one day, in another timeline or something ahah
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I forgot to say that I love Lackadaisy too ! My favorite character is the Cajun cat girl... SĂŠrafine ? Mordecai and the 3 main. The others characters are adorable! What's yours ?
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Yes I just love your art. Stop making me cry damn it *take gently my hamster back* thank you 🌸🌸
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Berserk is very great manga. I understand! When you said you have a t-shirt Berserk I look at mine and I was like (its a pastel t-shirt with a white cute bunnyon it) "slay !"
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And yes of course the beginning of Constantine and Serenity friendship is difficult ! And slow ! Like Hell is not a good place to have friend at all, and then Constantine is really not approachable for Sinners normaly and Serenity even if she is kind of a show girl (a greatest actor!) She is also someone discreet in her ways of doing things. I think ? Trust is complicated to built !
I'm happy you liked the Constantine/Verdelet little short story ! Your little dialogue was SO FUNNY ! Because that's a good resume :
V : "come on..." C : "I will not have sexual intercourse..." V : "Lesson time !! Look at this fleshy heart !"
I reread it just to laugh again at your dialogue ahah.
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Ahaha ! And I'm so ready for the Con and Lolicia fanarts ! 😭 all if your drawings. But don't worry if you don't have a lot of time to do it now.
Remember. I'm not going anywhere. Your studies/exams first🌸🌸
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I'm glad you like Abaddon !! And the short stories with Azrael and him !
AND I TRIED FOR DRAWING AZRAEL ! he was more complicated than I expected?!
And thank you for blessing mine eyes!!! What do you mean ? Ahah.
Have a great day too 🌸🌸
Yes, these themes are seriously awesome! I'm so glad to hear YOU loved it TOO!
And the Edwardian Era is also a very interesting Era, and its aesthetics are very beautiful.
And yes, you pronounced the name correctly, and don't worry, I just read the 1st book of Mistborn in English because they did not translate it well into my language too! (I had a headache from translating it).
I'm also thinking of reading the book called The Way of the King. I often see Sanderson being praised for his universe building! Inspiration is inspiration.
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THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR RECOMMENDATIONS And seriously, I have always loved the art design and environmental design of Violet Evergarden, it was also an anime that I loved in terms of story factors.
And YES! I definitely get a lot of inspiration from Arcane. In general, the Runterra universe is a universe that inspires me a lot.
Thank you again for your advice and resource suggestions, I will look into them all! Information is information!
The length of the message is really not a problem, I love reading what you write!
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WHATTTTTT!!! Luckily, I would really like to see your design for the characters and the lore you have in mind for the characters! And your version reminded me of the politics-based structure of the first 4 seasons of GOT Series where this type of dialogue dominates are truly perfect for me. And I think that the hierarchy of hell is a really important and interesting topic, and it's really nice to include these parts in the story.
And Yes lmao Imagine, there are papers lined up like mountains in front of the important figures in hell, and they have to read and deal with them one by one.
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Lmao I would 100/100 be the brother who goes to the world and has fun. Paperworks wastes people's lives.
And I really understand, after watching House of Dragons, I started to dont judge(dont think about so much) such events in such fictions And yes, it is hell, anything can happen there!
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I seriously find your AU interesting and if you come back to write it one day I look forward to reading it! And I was really happy to learn that we were considering similar concepts for AU snow!
And how is your AU prince and alastor's daughter's personality and story on ice! I'm seriously curious about your perfection!
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And lackdaisy is seriously amazing, I'm still surprised when I see the drawing quality of the comic, the illustrator is a very talented person!
Cajun Cat? I can't remember exactly, but I choose Mordecai and the main trio, they all have unique personalities. And I love that although Mordecia is shown as the most grumpy person, on the otherwise is the one whose facial expression you see the most.
My favorite? Hmm I guess my fav is Zib, the depressive musician cat who is fed up with life.🤌
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Yes, but it's still your decision whether to add this friendship factor to the story or not. You can do whatever you want, I'm okay with both options.
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And I seriously love the interactions between Verdelet and Constantine, they are two fun people to read! And I'm so glad you liked the little dialogue I wrote!
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And thank you so much for being patient and understanding!I'm really excited to draw them both together!!
-- And of course I will love Abbadon, I really loved his design and personality and I say again, your fanarts are really beautiful!
-----Episodes comments--
First of all, I read it up to date and I liked all the chapters you posted. The activities to unite the team were really well thought out, Sir Pentious warming up to the team. Trust activity after he arrived
In general, the activity held among the hotel residents was really great, everything was thought out in detail, I really loved it!It was really nice to have the team interact with each other or to read Lolicia's reactions to some events. Alastor's dialogues are also really fun to read.
In the short stories, the vee's stories were really nice, reading all of them was both fun and I think it gave the reader a different perspective, it was a really smart decision and in those short stories...introduced OCs caught my attention, I'm already curious if we'll see them again in the future!
And I wasn't expecting to see the Constantine cut at the end of the Vee episodes. It was a really nice surprise and I really loved the way you showed him in the story. Again, it's a very Epic shot.
And your drawings were great, as was the short with Verdelet. The design of the succubuses in Story was very nice, and the designs of the other versions of Abaddon were very good. I really like your designs!
And The fanart you drew of Verdeletand Constantine in the past was VERY BEAUTIFUL, THANK YOU SO MUCH, MY EYES ARE BLESSED AND THE YOU DRAW CLOTHES ARE VERY BEAUTIFUL. (Verdelet gives me the material girl Vibe💅)
Thank you again for the fanart.
AND WE SEE A SECTION OF LOLICIA'S PAST. WHAT DOES THAT SCENE MEAN? WHAT HAPPENED TO HER? MANY QUESTIONS BUT NO ANSWERS!
*starts hanging pins and clues on the wall*
AND ABBADON AND THE ROO/EVE SCENE I REALLY DIDN'T EXPECT THIS WHATTTTTT????
But the way the scene was written and described was really great. I really loved the way you handled Eve and Roo. I already loved Abaddon. I can't wait to see more about him now.
I'm seriously curious about what route the story will take after the warm-up arcs are over!!
And PRIDE MONTH FARANT I seriously think you drew the characters very cute and beautifully, they all looked great, I really liked them, thank you for bleesing my eyes again!
I hope I haven't forgotten any detail, if there is, please let me know, I don't want to miss anything!
And I apologize for the late reply. I haven't been on Tumblr for a long time and the my Äąnbox was really full. I saw your message recently!
Thank you again for taking the time to write this fanfic and draw fanart. It makes me so happy to read your fanfic! But please don't tire yourself out and get plenty of rest, you deserve it! ❤️❤️🫂🫂🫂🫂
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slavghoul ¡ 1 year ago
Text
Phantomime is the band's third album of covers, after If You Have Ghosts and Popestar. Cover songs are usually the preserve of young, inexperienced bands. Is doing covers a way to maintain a link with your formative years and not forget where you come from?
Tobias Forge: Absolutely. I think it does that. It serves as a return to the roots, in the same way as for... I don't know, let's say someone who practices martial arts, who starts in a certain dojo and ends up changing it. If you want to become a good fighter, you have to move and train with different people. It's the same for a footballer: if you play with the same team all the time, your team might be very good, but you always have to play against others. I think the same logic applies with covers: it can help to go back. You don't necessarily have to release them. We chose to do a real album, but in parallel I worked on other songs - not only Impera music, but other covers. We selected the best ones, and said, "Let's put these out; this looks coherent and presentable".
How much did learning to play other artists' songs contribute to your formation as a musician? What were the most formative songs in your youth?
The answer to the first question is yes. Listening and playing at the same time is very formative. I've never really been... A lot of guitarists, especially, take the time to read tablature and learn how to play something very precisely, and in my opinion, theorise the music too much. I can't say that I'm not theoretical; I just don't follow the rules or the classic terminology. I try to categorise and understand the logic, but I do it in my own way, based on what I have learned over time. I never spent much time with tablature; I just played to the music. I would put the music on and play. I wasn't trying to learn how to play the song in the same way as the band. I would play as if I were invited to play with them. So my style is very free, because I played The Doors as well as Kiss, Slayer and DJ Bobo! It could be anything. Whatever I heard, whatever I listened to, whatever song I could get my hands on, I would play it. I think the chaos of it all made it... When you understand that, you understand the way I write, the way I do things, and why I sometimes seem to be a bit scattered.
That's what may surprise you when you listen to the EP: you can find Iron Maiden as well as Tina Turner...
Yes, I grew up with both, so it's not strange to me. But of course, in order to go from just wanting to do something to a homogeneous work that is supposed to have some commercial appeal, you have to make decisions. One of those decisions was, "If we're going to do this Tina Turner song, it really needs to be punchy." It's supposed to be a rock EP, it's got to be set to 10. I think that's what sets this cover apart from the moose. By the way, thematically, I didn't think of it as 'a Tina Turner cover', but as 'the Mad Max song'. It fits with the times we're living in.
Phantomime features a cover of Iron Maiden's "Phantom Of The Opera". Two years ago, you also recorded a version of Metallica's "Enter Sandman" for the Blacklist compilation. In rock, people like to pit the Rolling Stones against the Beatles, and I think the metal world tends to do the same thing with Metallica and Iron Maiden. Do you feel more affinity with Metallica or with Maiden?
[He thinks] Good question. I'm trying to formulate a coherent answer. I think... It's so fifty-fifty. Both. Not just in terms of inspiration, but in terms of their whole careers, especially when I was a kid. In many ways, like many fans of both bands, there's a cut-off date where my interest in new music started to wane. But I have such a love for everything they did before that it doesn't really matter. The limit is basically the Black Album and Fear Of The Dark. I mean, I like The X Factor, and Brave New World was an absolutely great comeback album. But as a kid and a teenager, settling down with Live After Death was such an inspiration - not just for what I was hearing, but for the tour dates and everything to do with that. Same with Metallica and the Black Album. That was the first time I saw them, and it was the first time I was confronted with commercial greatness in metal, when a band is on top. It's happening now, they're the biggest band of all time. They're playing in such and such an arena, but when they come back next year, they'll be doing such and such a stadium. Even back then, I had a hunch that not only were they great, but they were doing well in life. These guys are getting richer by the hour [laughs]. That's the kind of thing that matters when you're twelve. "And imagine all the girls they get!" That kind of nonsense.
And of course, these bands inspired me musically and professionally and brought me a lot of joy, but they also became mentors in my professional life. I have so much gratitude and respect for those two bands. If I were to be super picky and specific, I would say that since we are a more melodic band, we are probably closer to Maiden. Metallica is more of a "speed" band, I think. To be honest, what I've always liked most about Metallica, and especially on my favourite albums, which are a lot of people's favourites, is not the speed. The speed and the violence on those albums are just added value. The reason their music was so great in the 80s was because it was so melodic. It's the melodies. What changed in the 90s was that they stopped the melodies. They became a blues band, and all of a sudden all the movements were different. It wasn't neoclassical like in the 80s or on the Black Album. I'm very neoclassical myself, that's why I feel so close to the melodic side of Metallica. On the other hand, I spent my teenage years listening to death and black metal, so I love big riffs and speed and stuff like that, but that's not what we do with Ghost.
For a long time, fans have been asking who could be the Maiden or Metallica of tomorrow. Considering the impressive success of Ghost, do you think you have an answer to that question?
Obviously, I know that George Lucas and Steven Spielberg will die one day, but I don't think Wes Anderson or Quentin Tarantino can be considered as a replacement. These directors don't have that much in common, but you know what I mean, I hope. I don't see us as taking their place. You know, I try to be as transparent as possible. What I do is very much inspired by those two bands. I try to do it in a different way, and with respect. But of course, from a practical point of view, when the day comes when there's no more Iron Maiden and you want to see a rock concert with staging and solos, you can come and see us. It's a very curious concept, but it's obviously relevant, because we live in a time when the previous generation is disappearing one after the other. I think Lars [Ulrich] and James [Hetfield] have spoken about how the physicality of their music is not the same as the Rolling Stones. Charlie [Watts] playing the way he played when he was seventy-nine or eighty, it's nothing like what's expected of Lars. And what is expected of James is also very different from what is expected of Keith Richards, with his very open chord style. The meticulousness of James' riffs and Kirk's solos can be difficult to achieve at eighty - and they're approaching sixty. Kirk already has them, by the way. So, as much as I don't want to think about it or remind people, nothing lasts forever. Sooner or later, fans are going to have to decide which bands they want to go see, because a lot of the people they grew up with won't be around anymore.
Your cover of "Enter Sandman" was very "ghostified", while "Phantom Of The Opera" is more faithful to the original in comparison. How do you decide how to approach a cover? Are there songs that offer more latitude in terms of arrangement and appropriation, and others less?
There are several factors, which differ from song to song, and the result can therefore be different. If you go back in time and take "Waiting For The Night", for example, I always thought that song in its original form... Obviously it's cool, but I thought there was a bigger song underneath. In the original, it's diffuse, vague, underlying. The chords are just hinted at, and the vocals suggest that you can build something bigger around it. When I did the cover with Dave Grohl, he asked me, "Can we do a really slow version of it like Trouble?" I said, "Yeah, that sounds cool." And of course, working with Dave Grohl, it seemed like a good idea at the time. In the end, we thought it was too slow, too heavy and too long. It was a good idea, but the result was not very convincing.
Enter Sandman' and 'Phantom Of The Opera' were conceived in two different ways. If someone had asked me to do a Metallica tribute, I would have accepted, but I would never have chosen 'Enter Sandman', in the same way that few people would choose 'Paranoid' or 'Smoke On The Water'. You automatically try not to pick the biggest hit. But in this case, it was Swedish television that asked me to play. It was for a music award, and they said: "Since Ghost and Metallica are close, you are seen as friends, so you should open the show. And we want you to play their biggest song, 'Enter Sandman'." I asked, "Do I have a choice?" And they said, "Not really! We want you to do it, otherwise we have to rethink the whole show. Could you think about it?" OK, I'll think about it and see what I can do. So I started to play the song and see what I could get out of it. The original structure of the song is very simple, and the melody, like "Waiting For The Night", suggests chords that they don't play. All I had to do was see which chord suggested the melody and fill in the gaps. I ended up with a five-minute arrangement. If I sing the melody with a guitar, this is what chords it suggests. That's the somewhat academic version of the song. I was at the stage where I had a completely different version of the song, and I recorded it and thought, "Fuck, I hope James doesn't hate it..." Because I don't want to disappoint anyone. It's supposed to be a tribute. My version was like, "You guys have all my love, but I was forced to do this! And in the end, the result was great.
"Phantom Of The Opera' was a bit different. I knew I wanted to cover a Maiden song, but not just anything, of course. I wasn't going to do 'The Number Of The Beast'. I've had fun with 'Phantom' in the past, because it's a long song and quite complicated. As a musician, it's quite common to sit on the couch and try to figure out a riff. What are they doing there? [What's the rhythm? How are they counting? Because I couldn't hear the beat. And suddenly, once I understood how the beat works in this song [he sings the riff while snapping his fingers], I thought: "Wow, you can't hear that at all on the record. You can't hear anything, it's just a controlled mess." I managed to figure out how to play other elements of the song, and I was like, "Now I have a reason to record it. Not because I want to improve it, but to come up with a different version where you can clearly hear the different parts." First of all, it was a personal experiment in the studio. I wanted to record it to see what it sounded like, and suddenly, after working on it for a few hours, doubling the guitars, adding the drums and playing everything perfectly with metronomic precision, the track was different and a bit updated, so to speak. So I said to myself, "I'm going to take the gamble of covering this song, and see what happens. It seemed like a good reason. I'm not saying my version is better, I'm just saying it's different. There's a bit more contrast and fluidity, you can hear the different elements better. It underlines how good the song is.
Phantomime's covers also include Genesis' 'Jesus He Knows Me'. Genesis is a rather peculiar band, which started out in progressive rock and ended up with huge radio hits. Do you find yourself in this ambiguity, in this duality?
Yes, I do. The other band on that level that did something similar is Pink Floyd. In the beginning, their music was really strange, really eccentric, and then they became more and more pop as the albums went on. People still mistakenly think they're a prog band, whereas 'Wish You Were Here' is really just a series of four pop songs stretched to the max. Not only am I very inspired by that, but I also feel an affinity with that kind of thing. You try to come up with variations of the traditional, if you like. You try to change the form, to present elements that people know in a different way. It's a bit like running a fusion restaurant and offering an Asian-inspired onion soup and adding coriander to the dish. It's still recognisable, but you try to make the recipe different. Another analogy is Stanley Kubrick, who told stories that weren't very complicated, but presented them in an epic way because of their façade - literally. It was the choice of set and costume and the attention to detail that made the difference. That's why, as a composer, I always try to go back to the simplicity of the writing; the simplicity of 'Another Brick In The Wall'; the simplicity of 'Comfortably Numb'. It sounds like a huge, epic song, but it's not complicated at all. They have a lot of songs like that. For a lot of songs in the Genesis catalogue, especially in the later part of their career, the only thing that makes it a bit weird is the middle part. In "Jesus He Knows Me", that's one of the things that made me want to... Not only have I always loved that song, but there are three factors that made me want to do my own thing with it. One: it's a very upbeat rhythm. The way they play it is so quiet that it literally sounds like they're playing on the table [he beats the rhythm on the table] with an acoustic guitar. There's a real metal track in there.
Do something with those guitars! [Laughs]
Yeah, but I'm glad they didn't, because that means we can! I'm really surprised that a band like Metallica never covered this song, because it sounds like a song from Garage Days. It has the same atmosphere. So I thought, "I'm gonna make it sound like a Garage Days song by Metallica. And I fucking hate the bridge of the original, when they go into white boy raggae. I like reggae, but this is the whitest reggae in the world! And it totally destroys the song. As much as I've always loved the song as a whole, I've always hated that part. So getting rid of that section and making it very heavy was also on the to-do list. I had to go into Trouble mode on this. And of course, that goes without saying, but the lyrics were also perfect. It's meant as a tribute, even though I spit on that bridge a lot. But they've done a lot of these kind of prog bridges, like "Let's do anything here", and they'll throw in a rumba or something like that. Some people might find that really interesting, but in most of their songs, I don't think it adds anything. But yes, Genesis has a lot of... I like a lot of their older prog music, with Peter Gabriel, although I think they almost became even better after they split up. Peter Gabriel did his own music, and he did it very well - very epic music. And Phil [Collins] came in on vocals and they did their own thing. To me, it was the best of both worlds, even if it sounds sacrilegious to say that. I'd love to see Peter Gabriel come back and sing with them, that would be cool, but their separation brought so much to the music, between Peter Gabriel's career, Genesis' career and Phil's career. That amount of work, man!
It's one of the few cases where the split was a real success for everyone, and the result is as good as the original band.
Absolutely, I think so. The most amazing thing they could do now, especially now that Phil is not in good shape... What I wish they had done, or could have done, or would do one day, is a triple tour. For example, Phil and [Peter] could do a solo show each to start with, maybe just five or ten songs, and then get together with Genesis. That way we could have 'Here Come The Flood', 'Another Day In Paradise' and 'In The Air Tonight', and then a bunch of Genesis. I think everyone would love to see that. It would be the perfect concert. For me, it would be one of the best experiences possible.
You see, that's the kind of idea that made Ghost into Ghost. If you can come up with a plan like that for other bands...
[Laughs] You can always call me before it's too late, guys!
Another band that has come up with sophisticated yet super catchy music is Def Leppard, especially on their multi-platinum album Hysteria. Speaking of which, this year you released a new version of "Spillways" with Joe Elliott on vocals. When you hear him on this track, the link is obvious, especially with the very elaborate backing vocals. Would you draw a parallel between your approach to songwriting and arranging and that of Def Leppard?
On this album, yes, because I tried to emulate elements of... It's something that's been done throughout their career, but especially on their two biggest albums, Pyromania and Hysteria, the length of the songs is remarkable. It's very common these days, especially in pop, to be very fussy about the three-minute limit. In the pop world, there's this need to always get to the chorus very quickly. You have to start with the chorus, go straight to the point all the time. In the 80s, there was more courage in songwriting - a more adventurous side. Songs like 'The Riddle', for example, were very strange, very proggy. There were weird chord progressions and stuff that nobody does anymore. The pop world has been so chicken for so long. Of course, I've always had an ear for pop; I'm not exactly impressed with what I hear today, but in my life I've always listened to the radio and liked a lot of what I heard, especially the 80s super hits. That's totally my thing. And I love Eurodisco from the early 90s. There are a lot of great composers in that scene. Max Martin started in Eurodisco, at least professionally, but before that he was in metal. What makes him such a great composer is his metal ear. He was writing Eurodisco songs, and then all of a sudden he started writing huge pop songs for the Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears. This whole school of Swedish songwriters is made up of former metalheads, former rockers, former guitarists.
So I wanted to challenge myself in my own songwriting, because sometimes I keep it too short. Even though "Square Hammer" is a good example of a well-written song, it was almost frustrating, because I thought, "OK, that's one more song like that. Now I have to stop doing that, because it was almost too simple." It was a very intuitive song; I literally wrote it in ten minutes. I had the melody, I played it, and the song wrote itself very quickly. There's almost no finesse in that song, and I thought I should avoid doing the same thing again, because it would be too easy. I wanted to see if I could write in a Def Leppard way. On Hysteria, there are six, seven, eight singles, a good half of which were huge hits. In 1987 or 1988, they were on a par with Coldplay at the height of their career, that's for sure. How could they write five-minute songs, with like five distinct parts? It wasn't conventional, verse-chorus-verse-chorus writing. It was verse, another verse, pre-chorus, bridge, and then finally, after two minutes, you'd get to the chorus. And it was so rewarding, because it was such a long way to get there. I thought, "This is what I have to work towards. I want to dare to add another part, dare not to follow the path. That was a mental exercise I did on Impera, and I'll try to do better in the future. It's an interesting way to challenge yourself.
When people talk about the length of songs on the radio, I always think of the story of "Bohemian Rhapsody": "This is going to be a disaster, it's never going to be played on the radio!" That's it, yes...
For a long time they called that song "Freddie's thing". It's such an anomaly in the middle of what we've just been talking about. Of course, I don't recommend... For a young band that's just got a contract, it's best to avoid the six-minute "Rhapsody". But if you can find a compromise between 'The Passenger' and 'Bohemian Rhapsody', I think you've got something.
On that subject, how did Joe Elliott end up on "Spillways"?
The story is very simple. I talked about Def Leppard a lot before Impera came out because of the mental exercise I mentioned, and both Phil and Joe had been talking about Ghost for a few years. It got to the point where our respective managements wanted us to do something together. In the modern world, that often means collaborating, as hip-hop artists do. I explained that I was willing to explore the idea, but that for me, a collaboration is a trendy but outdated concept. We do it all the time. In hip-hop, it's almost ridiculous to see... If an artist is hot this week and you go look at the American top 40, it's just "this artist feat. this other artist". I totally understand that one plus one can sometimes be three, but it gets very cynical. I don't want to do things cynically. I sing cynical things, I'm a cynical person, but I don't want to be cynical about my fans or my career. So I said yes, I would discuss it with Joe, but we'd have to see if we could agree on something, if there was romance in the air.
Joe and I sent a lot of messages to each other to try and arrange a meeting. He lives in Ireland, but also in LA. I live in Sweden, but I also spend a lot of time in LA, so we tried to find time to see each other. He was getting ready for his tour, I was getting ready for my tour, and we were just hanging out. And then out of the blue, he wanted to experiment; he went into the studio, recorded some vocal lines and sent them to me. I thought it sounded really cool and I said, "Look, I have nothing but good things to say about what you did. It sounds great. I'm not surprised by your voice, but by the fact that we sound so good together. I like that very drawling vocal, you really added something. But I have no desire to throw this on Spotify and say to people, 'Here's another thing you can buy.'" I asked him, "You know we do little skits to communicate with our fans in a funny way? Instead of posting on Instagram saying we'll be in such and such a city, we come up with little episodes." He had seen a few and said, "Yeah, that's funny. Let's do something funny with that." The gag is the important part, and the end result is a bonus.
It's like what we did with 'Kiss The Go-Goat' and 'Mary On A Cross'. The idea for the episode came first, and then we said, "OK, but we need a song. So I came up with the idea for this 60s-style sketch that was "Kiss The Go-Goat". Then, as I was writing and recording 'Kiss The Go-Goat', 'Mary On A Cross' came up in the process, and I thought, "Great, now we have a B-side! It'll be a physical single." So I put that in the script: "Let's start showing the single, now that it's official." Things work in tandem. Looking back, we now know that the end result was different. It was meant as a joke. There was 'Kiss The Go-Goat', which was the joke itself and was very successful. And then it turned out that "Mary On A Cross" was completely different. That's also what I told Joe: we do this to mess around with the band. My job is to write records and entertain people, but apparently I also have to communicate with my fans, and do all this promotion that I'm not really interested in. I have no problem doing this interview, but I don't want a fucking Instagram account where I post pictures of myself. I don't want to be that person. So, I'm doing this so that people... They're diversions, and sometimes those diversions become cool. "What do you say, Joe?" In the end, we found this way to spend time together and do something fun. Instead of turning our creativity into songs, we turned our creativity into episodes. It became something fruitful and fun, and I think it was a great success.
The title of the EP is clever, as it mixes the terms 'ghost' and 'pantomime'. The latter term is defined as "a type of musical for the entertainment of the whole family". Is this your goal with Ghost? Do you see the band as "a musical for the whole family's entertainment"?
Broadly speaking, yes. Of course, that suggests that the more adult elements and innuendos in our show are suitable for children, which I don't claim. But I would also like to stress that I have never asked people to bring children to our shows. So if the children in question are exposed to jokes involving penises, farts and copulation, that's their problem. I grew up in a very liberal family, where there were very few barriers and no censorship. I think it's possible to have a conversation, if others are open to it. I have no problem with whole families coming to us, as long as no one suffers. So, for me, it is indeed entertainment for the whole family. But I wouldn't sell it as such to most people, because there are still elements that are not suitable for all children.
I remember a Rammstein concert where I noticed children in the audience. I thought it wasn't really a good idea... Ghost seemed a bit more appropriate, but for young children, some things can still be a bit biased.
It's hard for me to have a clear line on this, because I'm not just speaking as a musician, but also as a parent. There's a constant debate about the right age to talk about certain things. Now, with two teenagers, things are more open. But that's one of the weird things about being a semi-public figure, talking openly and publicly about your life and what you do and sharing your opinions. My kids read that, too. They are aware of it. As soon as I say something, especially nowadays, where everything becomes a meme or a clip... People may think what I say is funny, which I don't mind, but my son and daughter, now fourteen, heard it when they were eight or ten. It's hard for me to be a parent and say, 'Go to school! Don't do that", when they know perfectly well that I didn't follow any of these precepts. I'm not trying to lie to them at all. I tell them: "I did this, I don't recommend it. I did this; I totally neglected this other thing. But I was lucky and I got there. My career isn't over, so I don't know if I've really "arrived", but for now, I'm here. It was a bit silly of me to be so confident, to think I could burn all the bridges, burn all the ships and throw the oars. I was lucky enough to make it to land, but I don't recommend this technique. Don't do the same thing! [Laughs]
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matt0044 ¡ 11 months ago
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”Reverse Trinity Syndrome” or why “The Final Day” works.
One sticking point of the finale to Gabriel’s run as main antagonist was the absence of Adrien in the final battle. Fans felt cheated out of Chat Noir facing his father and learning exactly what he’d become. That said... I feel like it being Bug Noir vs. Monarch is inaccurate when it's more like Marinette vs. Gabriel.
Marinette fighting for the one she loves and finally had the courage to kiss before the Perfect Alliance outbreak. Gabriel fighting for the wish he's spent the better part of a year grasping for. Season 5 spent quite a bit of time establishing tension between them as civilians with a classic "rich boy's parent disapprovals of peasent girl" dynamic.
The Miraculous was just the icy on the cake.
There's also something about Adrien, the male lead, being in captivity while Marinette, the female lead, is the one to take on the big bad mano e mano that reminds me of this article a while back that discussed a similar plot beat but with the genders reversed:
We’re losing all our Strong Female Characters to Trinity Syndrome
by Tasha Robinson
Since Tumblr's crap with links, I recommending googling the article itself.
The gist of the article was criticism of action films be they live or animated where the third act would have the female lead or a significant female character benched for the rest of the climax. Examples include Valka from How To Train Your Dragon 2, Wyldstyle from The Lego Movie (The Second Part was totes underrated) and Trinity from The Matrix if the name didn't give it away.
For me, Chat Noir being benched hit differently since I often had this frustration growing up. Sure, it was about the male hero mostly buuuuuut the set up for the heroine to be this awesome-sauce mentor, friend, parent or love interest would often be met with a lacking pay-off.
Similarly, I had been viewing Naruto and certainly felt that Sakura lacked prescene in Team 7's battles. Especially one their first mission where she's guarding their escort but doesn't even get any mook to throw down with at least. It felt like the trio was Kakashi, Naruto and Sasuke if anything.
So... having Adrien as part of the battle might've distracted from Marinette's part of the battle and SHE is the Guardian who lost the Kwamis.
This isn't to say one couldn't feel that Adrien risking transforming and flying to Paris was missing. Like Bug Noir could stay but Adrien flying off only for the Nightmares to get to him too much and have the Resistence bail him out.
Though, under that train of thought, I will admit that I wish that Adrien revealed himself as Cat Noir to Marinette before Monarch arrives to shoe him away. Evolve the love square at least a touch more as all.
Personally, I wished Alya transformed with Plagg.
In any case, I feel like Marinette and Gabriel have some parallels to each other with each other often pulling overt schemes to get the love of their life. Not in the same way of course but Marinette is still the one to overcome her more iffy habits and ACTUAL TRAUMA FROM CHLOE PUTTING KIM UP TO PRANK HER.
"Derision" was wild, y'all.
Thus not going the "I am your father" approach was valid.
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Halfway through their Actors on Actors conversation, Brie Larson and Andrew Scott discover something they have in common: Neither of them is a trained actor. Larson brings up the subject almost hesitantly, to explain why she has difficulty talking about her craft. “I didn’t go to school for it,” she says. “No! I didn’t either!” Scott replies. Excitedly, Larson says: “I knew I liked you!”
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Despite any self-professed deficiencies about discussing acting, Larson and Scott insightfully talk about how they each got their start at a young age, and then dive into their current television projects: his remake of “Ripley” on Netflix and her Apple TV+ limited series “Lessons in Chemistry,” which Larson also developed as an executive producer. Both shows originate from books — Patricia Highsmith’s classic thriller and Bonnie Garmus’ 2022 bestseller, respectively — and though their characters are very different (Tom Ripley is a grifter turned murderer; Elizabeth Zott is a thwarted physicist), both stand apart from society, looking in from the outside...
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RIPLEY LESSONS IN CHEMISTRY ACTORS ON ACTORS
BY KATE AURTHUR
ANDREW Scott & BRIE Larson
ANDREW SCOTT: I was reading that you were shy as a kid.
BRIE LARSON: Not anymore. I’m totally fine now. I’m totally confident and cool.
SCOTT: I really related to you when I was reading that, because that’s why I started as a kid. I think there’s a slight myth about actors — that they’re very outgoing or sort of precocious. So did you ask to start acting?
LARSON: Yeah. My parents were chiropractors, and I was super shy. I wouldn’t let it go. Of course, it’s changed the course of my life in so many ways. But at a time when I was so shy and had such a hard time expressing myself, at 6 years old, I was basically given, like, “OK, here’s a script for how you have a conversation.” The actual fiber of how I understand how to have pleasant conversations with people is based upon weekly acting sessions.
SCOTT: I used to go to these drama classes on a Saturday, and I would be fully shaking before you go in. And then you’d have to get up in front of your other 7-, 8-year-olds, and do an improvisation, or say a poem or something. I don’t feel like it’s an overstatement to say that I think it’s completely changed my life — not just my career. I had a really bad lisp when I was a kid, so I had to do elocution lessons. I had to go, “He sees seashells by the seashore,” and I just completely got rid of it.
Do you feel shy now?
LARSON: I had to face myself in so many different ways; that’s part of the thing that I actually seek now. I mean, I’m so grateful that I had so much rejection growing up. It’s wild! I very much had a slow burn in my career. I’d get close to things, so I knew that I had something, but I wasn’t booking, or I’d book one job a year or something — just enough to give me hope. It gave me so much experience so that when I was given the opportunities, I was truly ready for it. I never had a time on set where I was like, “Oh, gosh. This is bigger than what I understand.” It was always, like, well paced.
SCOTT: Absolutely. People who get an awful lot of scrutiny at an early age, I think, find it harder to experiment a little bit. So it’s good that I was unemployed for so long.
LARSON: It turns out I’m so happy that it seemed like it wasn’t working out for me! Look at us now! But, yeah, when I was stalking you online, I was like, “Wow, it feels similar.”
SCOTT: Just to wrap that shyness thing up, somebody said a really brilliant thing to me, which was, like, “There’s nothing wrong with being shy. Be shy. It’s a nice thing you go a little bit red.”
LARSON: I blush very easily. It’s horrible.
SCOTT: So “Lessons in Chemistry.”
LARSON: Let’s talk about our shows.
SCOTT: She’s singular, but it’s not shyness. She’s actually quite forthright. It’s beautiful stuff. And you’ve been involved with it for …?
LARSON: I think it took two years. Maybe longer. But I think it was about two years when we started working on it to then actually filming it.
SCOTT: Are you so proud of this?
LARSON: Yeah, I think so. I’m proud of what we achieved in the time that we did. I don’t have a connection to when it goes out in the world; it just feels like then it’s not about me anymore — it’s just images and feelings. I am proud of how much we said in the show. I felt like we got a lot in it, and a really amazing group of people that worked on it. And I loved playing her.
SCOTT: Were you looking at the edit and all that kind of stuff?
LARSON: All the time. And nonstop.
SCOTT: Did you find that you were able to …
LARSON: … detach? You have to. I’m just like, “Of course I didn’t do it all right.”
SCOTT: I think there’s maybe a fear that people are going to say, “We need another close-up of me, please.”
LARSON: I felt very committed to finding what things weren’t working. Especially with a character that I also felt was very different from me, and how little she emotionally expresses.
SCOTT: I love that about it.
LARSON: I struggled with it a lot, and I felt very lost with it. I am just very used to my understanding of when something’s working — when it feels very true and I’m just in it. And I would be in it with her, but I felt like the part of me that would want to cry, for example, was being pushed. She’s always twisting the knot inside, and won’t give it to anybody.
When you’re playing Tom Ripley, what does it feel like to lie when he’s lying?
SCOTT: Well, I tried to make him lie as little as he could get away with, so that he lies in order to get himself out of a situation. And he murders to get himself out of a situation. He’s not bloodthirsty. I mean, he could have not murdered, I suppose.
LARSON: Yeah.
SCOTT: We all make that decision.
LARSON: Yeah, no, it’s a choice you make every day.
SCOTT: I suppose any of those things about him being a liar or sociopath, I found unhelpful. The kind of stuff that Tom Ripley, I suppose, is famous for as an iconic literary character — “Is he a psychopath?” or “Is he a murderer?” or whatever. But the murder-y parts — we shot it for nearly a year, and they only took up a few weeks.
LARSON: He’s mostly not murdering. I have a question about playing a character that has existed in many different iterations and forms. I feel like you have experience with that, because you do theater as well. Do you have the same approach every time, in terms of researching and watching previous versions of it? Or do you just block it out?
SCOTT: Absolutely, I block it. Because, No. 1, I adored the film “The Talented Mr. Ripley” — the Minghella movie with Matt Damon and Jude Law and Gwyneth Paltrow and all those amazing people. But mercifully, I hadn’t seen it in a very long time. One of the first conversations I had with Steven Zaillian, our writer-director, was “Why?” And he had such a singular vision for it. He wanted it a very particular way. I was worried that I was too old and blah, blah, blah — I had just a very specific idea that was based on the film.
I had to remind myself that that film was also a reiteration of something: There was another version with Alain Delon before. There were loads of different ones. So it has been reinterpreted a lot. And I feel like it’s very important that he said, “We want to age the characters up.” And he was talking about this very particular kind of noirish black-and-white vision that he had. And that made me feel very comfortable. And I always think that it’s important, because it happens in the theater so much — if it was a Shakespeare character, thousands of people have played one character. I always find that really interesting. I think the response, I suppose, is to be respectful, but not too reverent. What’s the point of doing it if you’re going to do it exactly the same way? So I didn’t look.
LARSON: What do you think about some sort of Ripley universe — into the Ripley-verse? Just all the Ripleys.
SCOTT: Like Marvel? Sort of like the Fantastic Four? Is that a thing? Oh, and they all get together?
LARSON: Yeah, Ripleys together. I’m just curious. I got a couple studios interested, so I just …
SCOTT: You do? So kind of you! You make things happen. Are you not tired? You’ve been setting up projects for me? God, you’re kind.
LARSON: No, I’m writing a part for myself as well.
SCOTT: You’d be a good Tom Ripley! 
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mechahero ¡ 4 months ago
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There's a whoooole bunch of undead guys in Motor City! And while I can't go over every single one of them, here's a small selection of zombies you'll see here! You don't have to use the nicknames for them though, we are all aware of how dumb they sound.
YOU try coming up with a way to tell different zombies apart without sounding like a complete dumbass though. >:/
ROMEROS- Your classic zombie. Slow, shambling and trouble in large crowds. These guys outnumber most of the zombie types here 2 to 1. Compared the zombies they're named after, they're far more smarter than them. While you won't catch them using a rock to bash open a window, you'll at the very least be able to hold normal conversations with them as they're well... normal people still more or less!
You could always ask one what brought them back and sometimes they'll tell that it was due to a satellite that came back from Venus. Don't take it to heart though, it's mostly a joke.
LANDERS- Said to be the victims of a disease (probably rabies or mad cow disease or something, we don't fricking know), these zombies are bit uh... complicated. These guys take the longest to get back on track and get them acting like the humans they used to be. It's no fault of their own obviously, but man is their particular strain of zombification a complete BITCH to work with. It makes them bitey, spew-y and all around JERKS the first few months of unlife.
They're alright once you get them back down to normal but you really gotta stick it out through those months to do it. And the kicker? They can only make more of themselves via biting. Or if they've got a cold and are inconsiderate enough to not cover their mouths when they sneeze. Not that you'll catch any of the ones here biting people though. That's rude and they're more likely to be chowing down on junk food than people. They looove stuff like Ding Dongs and stuff like that.
Not every Lander is the same though, since some of them seem to act completely differently to the regular Landers. One of them snuck up on me the other day, it wasn't fun.
TRAINRUNNERS- Okay, forget what I said about the Landers. THESE guys are complicated. Kind of, I mean. They're fast, super durable for the most part and their strain is also spread through bite and boy, does it spread FAST. It's probably for the best that there's so few of them living here. That's nothing against them, of course but uh... it's not fun to deal with?
And if takes a while to get a Lander back on track, then it takes even longer for a Trainrunner. Which is not as pleasant as you can imagine when they get out of control but hey, we push through. Some of them are kind of prickly people to deal with though. We're not sure if that's because of the way their strain affects their brains or if some of them are natural born jerks. But either way, if you see some literally rotten looking people with varicose like veins and wearing sunglasses (their eyes ARE kind of gross looking), then you're seeing a Trainrunner. Just be cool around them and you'll be okay.
I dunno who originally coined their nickname though. We don't even have trains here?
NEWDEADS- A sort of catchall term for zombies that don't fit in the standard definition of zombie but are similar enough to their regular counterparts to qualify as one. It's not too uncommon to see a Newdead with a pulse (That's me!) but as long as they have a couple of traits seen in either Romeros, Landers, or Trainrunners, they can count as a Newdead. The one difference between a Newdead and the other zombie types though is that Newdeads don't have to worry about losing control and going on a complete rampage just to eat some dang flesh. Newdeads are kind of like humans the most? But also kind of not? They're stuck in a weird in between of being both and neither.
Don't ask how a zombie can have a pulse though. Yeah, I know it doesn't make sense but we're all made and sometimes rot and decompose in different ways and you'll break your brain trying to understand it so don't fricking question it. We're all kind of dead and that's just it! :>
Anyways, that should be just about every type of zombie seen here mostly! Might have missed a few but I can always edit this thing. Or just make new pamphlets. Either one. Next one's going to be about vampires and let me tell you that one's gonna be wayyyy easier! Well bye! ^_^b <- (me giving you a thumbs up)
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imaginatorcreates ¡ 15 days ago
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Prompt Foundry Day 31: Celebrating Halloween! | Fictober Day 31: "it's always been you" | 31: Costumes (bweird OC-tober) (what are your ocs wearing for halloween?)
24 September 2024 — 24 September 2024
Word Count: 649 words
Author's Notes: Prompts by @thepromptfoundry and @fictober-event and @bweirdart. Full promptfoundry list here. Full fictober-event list here. Full BeWeirdOC-tober list here.
“Remember Zephyr — ”
“I know!”
“Not too much candy. And please try to stay close.”
Zephyr groaned. “Whynn, I’m not gonna run off super far! I’ve gotta take care of the passengers! And you’re one of them.” Really, it should be obvious from their costume. Maybe Whynn didn’t understand what they were dressed up as. So the child posed in the middle of the dark street, one hand pointing forwards and the other on their hip. “All aboard!” they called out.
Their hair fluffed out, untethered by a hat or other head accessory. While a hat would’ve really sold their costume, they hated the feeling of almost everything on their head. The most that they allowed was a hood, and even that felt too weird if they really thought about the sensation.
A few beings looked at the child, some cooing and others rolling their eyes. Zephyr ignored them at first, but as their gaze drifted between Whynn and the passerby, their bravado slowly faded into something sheepish. “You think my costume is nice, right?”
Whynn stayed silent for about 13 seconds of varying length before they patted Zephyr on the shoulders. “Very cute.”
“Very professional!”
“Professionally cute.”
Zephyr lightly hit their guardian on the arm and whined, “I’m a professional! ‘M not cute!”
“Oh, fine. You’re the most professional one there is.” Whynn fixed their short cape and said something under their breath that sounded like, “Maybe I should’ve done a different costume.”
“I like your costume. Wizards are super cool! They’re also super smart, like you,” Zephyr said. “You’re just missing the big hat they wear where you can shout ‘Sun and moon! Stars and sword! I summon to me, places not explored!’ or something!”
Whynn blinked owlishly behind their glasses, then gasped. “That’s a perfect spell!” They waved their hands with the grace of someone who didn’t exactly know what to do with their hands and recited the rhyme Zephyr made up. “Oh, that’s perfect!”
Zephyr hopped around their guardian. “Is it?”
“It is!”
The child let out a loud whoop of joy. “It is! I’m a spellmaker and a conductor and– AT!” Zephyr’s attention jumped from celebrating their new careers to the familiar conductor. The conductor was dressed in a classic black costume…maybe a vampire? Zephyr guessed that someone at the train depot or station gave it to the robot. “AT! Look, look!” They stumbled into a run towards the robot, leaping into a floating and slow-moving projectile. “Guess what I am!”
AT-1225 caught the light child and put them down. “Let me see…” He looked at their costume, and Zephyr caught the moment when she paused. “Oh? Are you a miniature me?”
“Yeah! It’s always been you!”
AT-1225 did something a little odd: it made a static-filled sound before covering its mouth. The static turned into a crackly laugh that continued even when Whynn managed to catch up to the duo. “Apologies, but — ” He tapped at his throat and static still echoed out. “Come on…” She tapped her throat a bit more before things calmed down. “You dressed up as a train conductor?”
“Of course! Whynn’s a wizard, I’m a train conductor, and you’re a vampire!”
AT-1225 shrugged. “My coworkers insisted.”
“No hat?” Whynn asked.
“My coworkers also insisted that the hat would ruin the overall costume.”
Zephyr watched as Whynn took one of AT-1225’s gloved hands and pressed the back of it to their mouth. AT-1225’s voicebox fizzed and he reached up to grab a hat that wasn’t there. She instead shaded her eyes and crackled out, “Whynn! You — !”
“Sorry, sorry. I had to.” Whynn looked happy, a sheepish smile on their face.
Zephyr on the other hand, pretended to gag. “Ew! Ew ew ew! I’m here for candy and pointing at people, not this!” They circled around the two with increasing intensity until they could finally move forwards.
Halloween, here they all go!
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sincerely-sofie ¡ 7 months ago
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no worries if you aren't sure/rather not answer, take as long as you need, public response over private is okay does schizophrenia come under dissociative disorders, and if not, what's the difference?
i know i have /some/ form of dissociative(-like?) thing, as many people with DID or similar have pointed it out. but i don't have the alters separate memory different people fronting thing. what i do have is myself, logic brain, emotion brain, possibly other stuff, and
the part(s) that's actually relevant here - what feels like a peanut gallery of cptsd-induced hecks reinforcing internalised stuff. why i'm asking is your description of the hallucinations sounds more like them than a lot of experiences i've read, so i'm wondering if it'd be worth me looking into (i'm already in the process of signing up for therapy, but more info for initial assessment always good)
it's definitely not identical because as far as i know i don't hallucinate images or sounds (besides that i used to hear my sibling calling my name when they weren't for some reason?), and i don't know how to identify anything distinctly let alone have mental images of any of them like your drawings, but.
i'd appreciate any insight you may have, but no obligation of course (i know you probably know that already but peanut gallery yells at me if i don't make it clear) thanks even just for reading even if not sure how to answer :)
Media portrayals of schizophrenia vs. dissociative disorders oftentimes blur the lines between them. It's very understandable to be uncertain on which you may or may not be experiencing period--- but throw in the public confusion on the differences and it's a muddy mess to understand their distinctions. ESPECIALLY Dissociative Identity Disorder, oh my goodness. You mentioned DID by name, so I'll be using it and schizophrenia as the main apples and oranges I compare. Keep in mind that there's various forms of schizophrenia and dissociative disorders, though.
(Obligatory disclaimer that I am not a medical professional and the only qualifications I have to answer this is that I'm a field researcher of sorts. Good on you for starting signing up for therapy, PLEASE keep that process going. Do not take my word for gospel. I'm one person with no degree or training. Anyone reading this and relating to the mental illnesses I'm describing here should seek out medical professionals and be particularly wary of self-diagnosis for these disorders.)
The DSM-5 (aka The Big Book of Mental Bad Vibes) classifies schizophrenia and DID under two different umbrellas: psychotic disorders vs. dissociative disorders. They're two distinct, but similar, conditions. Schizophrenia's diagnostic criteria centers on a disconnection from and altered perception of reality. DID's diagnostic criteria, meanwhile, revolves around a disconnection in identity, awareness, and memory. People with a textbook case of schizophrenia, while they likely experience delusions, do not display alters--- though there may be erratic behavior and moods in individuals that can come across to outsiders as such.
While they're very distinct, they have a number of similarities and a distinct amount of overlap between symptoms at times. I've seen statistics saying that anywhere up to 50% of schizophrenia patients meet the criteria for DID--- though I'm personally wary of that statistic, as DID's diagnosis criteria and treatment has been shifting all over the place in recent years and I'm not sure when the statistic was said. It also reeks to me of the fear-mongering a lot of classic horror movies used when lumping the two disorders into a scary boogeyman figure.
All of that context aside, I'm a very strange example of schizophrenia, and my doctor has said at times that the diagnosis was more so something I received because it checked enough boxes and less so because it was something I truly embodied. He's said that if Anxiety with Psychosis were in the books, he'd have given me that diagnosis in a heartbeat. It's not, though, so I got the shiny moniker of Early Onset Undifferentiated Schizophrenia--- which basically means "Your brain exploded while you were a teen and the aftermath sort of fits into this one psychotic disorder's box, but only sort of". My experience with schizophrenia is not typical, and knowing what I know now about my mental health background, I'd say that PTSD and C-PTSD is the strongest overlap with my experience--- just with added psychosis for extra spice. Ultimately, my hallucinations were largely manifestations of my various complexes and neuroses--- this makes them a lot more comparable to thought processes in patients with a form of post-traumatic stress than your average schizophrenia patient's hallucinations.
It's important to note that a small degree of hallucinations / psychosis is normal--- we've all thought we heard a notification from our phone when no such thing happened, and hearing someone call your name when they actually didn't is a pretty typical experience. It's not cause for immediate concern. Heck, I thought hypnagogic hallucinations were part of my diagnosis--- it turns out over half the population experience them!
TL:DR; if my description of my hallucinations resonates with you, you're more likely to have some form of trauma or anxiety disorder than straight up schizophrenia or DID. I'm a weird case, and the way my hallucinations formed was apparently very atypical. So I really would recommend looking into the anxiety disorder / trauma angles before you start gaslighting yourself into questioning your perception of reality. Check out Cognitive Behavioral Therapy strategies. The ones described in this workbook in particular ultimately did more for my recovery in the end than medication did--- and medication did a lot for my recovery. Absolutely keep seeking out therapy, because you need a medical professional to sift out whatever may be going on in your head--- ESPECIALLY if you suspect a psychotic or dissociative disorder is at play. Others with disorders might be able to identify someone with a similar condition, but they may also be only identifying symptoms which merely overlap with their own experiences. They are not professionals. Their word is valuable, but ultimately you need a doctor for this kind of thing.
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